Does anyone else just feel done?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does anyone else just feel done?
10
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 3:08pm

I am just sooooo tired!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 5:17pm
I would insist that he go for counseling again. Maybe he never fully dealt w/all his demons. Tell him that he's in that funk again that you recognize from when he had the affair and you're afraid he'll act out again. He has a hole inside him that he needs to recognize and deal with. This is what my H is coping with now. good Luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Sat, 04-04-2009 - 9:35am

Im going to give you a males perspective on this. He may be a workaholic and a good provider for you and his family. He may even be in a funk or rut, whatever you may call it. If hes not cheating and you see no signs of him doing so, whats the real underlying issue here ?


Could it be that in reality you may be bored with the marriage and deep down your really hoping that he would cheat so that it

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 10:02am

Wow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 10:45am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 11:02am

I just wanted to add that i do believe at times husbands have a tendancy to take their wives for granted. They take them for granted by thinking that their wife is always going to be there, that their wife has to be alright since

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2009
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 12:11pm

I can totally relate to your situation. My husband had an affair -

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 7:11pm

I just wanted to tell you thank you. You said everything that I have been feeling the past few days.

I know exactly how you feel about being taken for granted and not getting any respect. My husband is the exact same way. He goes out drinking and partying with his single friends. Some nights he wouldn't even come home and I never got a call in the middle of the night to get a reason why he wasn't gonna be home that night. Some days he wasn't home from work and he didn't even call to say he was gonna be late coming home because he was going for a few beers with the guys. He always does things with out even trying to inform me about it or does things and then says "I am sorry" when I get mad about it. He always has to go out because he needs a break from his hectic life, but yet I am a stay at home mother that does full time online schooling and taking care of a 16 month old. But I don't get any breaks and if I complain about him not giving me breaks he just tells me that he works and brings in the money. Then he tells me that I can trade with him and bring in the money then and he can stay home, because he thinks he could do a better job. I know how you feel. I have bent and broke my back to always make him happy and tried my best to keep him happy. But just after the affair he admitted that he just might be one of those people that can't be happy no matter what.

I am one of those people like you that is just happy to be alive. I am not saying that I don't have my sad days, but I am thankful for what I do have. I agree that it is hard being happy with someone that hates everything. It is also difficult trying to make someone else happy and then lose some of your happiness because they are so negative.

I too am afraid that he is just going to get bored and unhappy and do it again. I can't take that again. I won't take that again.

I know that the affair is really recent, but since I was taken advantage of for so long and he still ran around what is the point. Also what is the point in trying to salvage something when the other person is just thinking about their own happiness and what they want. Isn't marriage about give and take. Isn't marriage about two people becoming one. Isn't marriage about putting the happiness of others before yourself.

I completely understand how you feel. I wish I had an answer to how to fix it all, but sadly I am in the same boat. Well not the same boat since he didn't buy a motorcycle, but mine usually spends hundreds of dollars at the bar. So I do understand about spending money on something that they don't NEED.

I wish you the best and if you have any answers then please let me know.

-Sheena

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 1:50am

emmaleesmommee -

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 10:29am
Well said!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 4:36pm

thank you, i have my moments dammit!


:)