Does it ever get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Does it ever get easier?
8
Sun, 09-06-2009 - 3:24pm
I honestly don't care if anyone reads this. I honestly don't care if no one responds. This is just me getting stuff off my chest. Venting so I don't have to keep things bottled up. Writting stuff down so I don't go
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 12:43am

Well, for me it's 1 1/2 yrs and not so bad anymore. For one thing, for me I do not trust again. I watch him

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 1:28am

as i read your post i was filled with such a heart felt feeling for the pain you are experiencing.

it sounds to me as though your boyfriend had not done what he needed to do to SHOW you that he is sorry. to do whatever it took. i could be wrong but you seem to have many questions that have not been answered. am i wrong in assuming that he just wanted to apologize and move on, lets just forget about it.

it is one thing to learn of a loves indiscretions, it is another to see it to read it in word. there is nothing lost when you actually see it with your own eyes. i know, since i too read my husbands emails.

tracy, this is a big decision you have to make but i would like to encourage you to continue to ask the hard questions of yourself.

do you want to live like this the rest of your life.

if it is not getting any better, then where do you go from here?

why do you think you deserve so little from any man? you should be having wild young sex, swinging from the chandelier, passing out in ecstacy. you should be at a point in your life when the mere presence of him makes you feel warm all over.

i would so encourage you to demand the best that life has to offer, the absolute best.

what if your sister shared the very same story with you, what would you say? what advice would you give???

tracy DO YOU LOVE HIM OR DO YOU LOVE THE MAN YOU WANT HIM TO BE?????? think about this. dr. phil has a saying that i think about often. HE HAS SHOWN YOU THE MAN HE TRULY IS ---- believe him???????????????

sweet dear tracy, you deserve so much more, why don't you believe that???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 8:05am
Hiya, Sissy. Nice to meet you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 1:15pm
YOU AS WELL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 11:18am

"I just want to know if it ever gets better? Can you ever really get over it? Can you ever make your relationship stronger? "


My answer is yes to

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Mon, 09-14-2009 - 4:26pm

In your case, probably not. Judging by the present relationship you've described

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2009
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 4:23pm

Hi Tracy - I can empathize with you because it has been over a year since I discovered my wife's multiple affairs, and I still have a lot of anger and resentment. I am having a lot of trouble forgiving her, and slowly coming to the realization that I probably cannot forgive her ever. For me, it's about my self-respect. When I first had a tiny inkling of suspicion, I told her "If you ever cheat on me, I'm gone. It's over". And do you know what she did literally weeks after that conversation? Yeah, started her first of multiple affairs over 6 months. So what do I do? I love her, but like you, I have completely lost the spark. Our relationship has been damaged. It's not special anymore. She did not respect it - why should I?

It's a very tough road, but you will get through it, not matter what decision you make. It's all up to you now. You are firmly in control of your own life, so make your decisions based on what is best for you, not considering how it will make him feel. He had no consideration for you when he decided to ruin your relationship right?

I hope I'm not coming off as too insensitive, but that's just my perspective from the same boat we are in.

Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 11:40am
I dont mean to take over this post but...I can relate to the original poster. Jackthetab...You hit the nail right on the head...you posted exactly what has happend to me and how I feel right now with the exception that it has only been a few months. My question is...what if he IS trying now, IS sorry..etc? But it took several times of him getting caught to finally "wake up".