The Emotional Betrayal
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|Sun, 06-07-2009 - 3:46pm|
My D-day was Jan 26/09, pretty recent. We have had the typical ups and downs, he left for a week, then came back, committted to 3 months of no contact. The 3 months have passed and he has sent a letter to her about a month a go telling her he would never contact her and did not want her to contact him ever. He has re-committed to our marriage 100%, says he loves me and will do whatever it takes to make me happy for the rest of my life.
So what's my problem? He still says he feels guilt over "abandoning" her. I tell him he owes her nothing. she is an adult who made decisions that she has to deal with not him. I cannot seem to deal with this emotional betrayal. As bad as the physical betrayal was, the emotional is much worse. I remember all the e-mails where he told her he loved her, was dedicated to her, how much fun she was etc. When he spoke about me it was all loyalty, integrity, respect, what a good mother and wife I'd been, etc. Basically making me feel like a comfortable old pair of shoes. He has made some effort but when I discuss this with him he tells me "stop worrying, you won." Somehow this isn't enough I want him to see me as the one and only woman in his life.