The endless questions/thoughts (kinda long, sorry)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
The endless questions/thoughts (kinda long, sorry)...
13
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 9:07am

Hello. I am about 6 weeks out from D Day. My DH was having an EA with an aquaintence. Someone I knew, but not too well. We have mutual friends, and she works for the same company as my DH, but different office location. Anyway, I confronted, 5 days later he partially confessed, then

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008

That's such a good point, Ollie - that OW is NEVER worth all the effort we put into analyzing, wanting revenge, agonizing, plotting, whatever we feel we just have to do.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Thank you both for your responses. I agree Ollie, I really need to keep her out of my head! Myra, its so hard not to obsess. I want to get into her twisted little pea brain and find out why she thought this was okay. I guess because she was so unhappy, and saw what she wished she had, in my hubby, that she felt that it was in some way "owed" to her because his attention made her feel good? IDK. DH has been transparent since the day of total NC. So yesterday I got that urge to check his phone. I found his "deleted voicemails" and saw a few numbers I didn't recognize. So, I listened to them. One was from her. From the day after D-Day. I was so angry. She sounded so "comfortable" talking to him on that VM! Grrr! Anyway, I wasn't going to tell DH but he could tell something was bothering me. So I told him. He says he didn't even remember that VM and must have deleted it right away. He didn't know he could retrieve his deleted VMs, so I showed him! lol He didn't even listen to it. He permanently deleted it.
I felt bad b/c he has been so sweet, brought home flowers for me yesterday for no reason. He was not mad that I listened to the VM. I told him that was the only smidgen of "proof" that I had. He apologised and then he said something that really showed that he does "get it". He called her a Succubus! LOL I just had to laugh. He finally gets it, and now I KNOW he is out of the fog!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999

OK I want to know.

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