First session of MC today
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|Mon, 01-30-2006 - 9:43pm|
This afternoon, we had our first session with the MC. I appreciated her style. Since I've done so much therapy before, I can say that with some confidence.
One thing that bothered me was that she didn't seem to understand my need to have dh tell OW what he has been telling me, that the whole thing was him trying to make her feel better so that she wouldn't commit suicide, that he never loved her. WOuldn't it be natural for me to feel that it's important that she not believe that she was taking my place for that year? Am I vindictive person for wanting that? Is there something wrong with that in general? I don't get it. I don't want her to feel suicidal because I ask him to do that, which is clearly a possibility as I have read her emails and see this. On the other hand, it isn't fair to me to have her believe that she was, in essence, the most important person in his life for that year. Any input on this would be helpful.
She did understand more of how I felt as the session went forward because she began to get more of my background. She told us that we clearly both process things differently.
She told dh that it was important for me, and him too, to figure out what he got out of what he did. That there was something more than the Sir Gallahad thing going on. Well, I've known that, but he disputed it. I can't see how anyone could possibly say all the things he said without SOME emotional attachment besides that of "an old friend in trouble." She was clear in that it is important for ME to see this process happen, for me to see why this happened, and that it will, hopefully, keep it from happening again.
She was positive about our marriage. She felt that we were both VERY committed to our marriage and each other. We aren't hanging by a thread. She said that I must have SOME trust left in him or I would not have been there today. She said that I mostly have lost faith in him.
We go again next week. Not sure what that will bring, but feeling more positive.