Got the Glass book... Not Just Friends.
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|Fri, 04-07-2006 - 11:46am|
After seeing it suggested several times here, I picked up the Shirley Glass book "Not Just Friends." It was helpful and a quick read. A lot of what it had to say I had read elsewhere and kind of understood, but the rebuilding part could be useful if by some miracle of God we go that route. I think that I am going to give the book to my husband when he comes to pick up our daugther tomorrow. We are still doing no contact but are speaking about "business" matters like our child and finances -- nothing else. He seemed to want to talk more and thanked me for the conversation, but I was like... "bye." I think that if he is as confused and desperate as he says he is and seems to be, that he will actually take a look at it. I think that if he read it, he would see a lot of himself in it (I know that I saw him in it from what he has told me about the A and a lot of myself as the ambivalent betrayed spouse). So maybe... just maybe... he will take a look at the book and get something out of it. But who knows... H isn't the type to read anything. Maybe if he's desperate he will. I still don't know if I even want to reconcile with him regardless... but if he were to read the book and it were to help that can't be anything but a good thing right? Glass says that if you are ambivalent that's a good sign, and I guess that we both are pretty ambivalent at this point. I alternate from wanting to divorce him instantly to wanting to make it work, but really I don't have the option to make it work as long as the OW is still in the picture. Also she suggested waiting three months before making any big decisions... so maybe I should hold out on filing for divorce for a bit longer unless he stops giving me money. I am undecided at this point, but I found the book to be helpful and it made me think. It gave me a bit of hope... perhaps it is false hope. But oddly enough I don't know how I feel about that... just when I give up hope... I'm not sure that I want to have any hope for this marriage. But part of me feels like I ought to.