Have you stopped thinking this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Have you stopped thinking this??
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 1:20am

So help me, I try not to entertain this thought anymore because I'm fairly sure DH is behaving himself.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 3:07am

I do the same thing many times even though I dont feel he is up to anything. I think that if I knew XOW was over him I would not have that "what if" feeling from time to time. Knowing that she would jump at the chance and that she lives only five miles away is hard for me still.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 2:10pm

I would love to tell you that three years out it never crosses my mind but I would be lying. I will never trust him on that level again even though I think I can, it is something I cannot do. It would be like forgetting that a dog bit me and trying to pet him again. I understand those thoughts are there because of my past experience of him and not because of anything he is doing right now and so I let them go. I always have the option of checking up on him if those thoughts persist which gives me a clue that there might be something going on that I haven't consciously registered yet. Knowing I have that option and that he will be be cooperative with me helps in not obsessing on those thoughts.

Frankly, your H really hasn't done the work for you to get past this yet. It seems like he is beginning to do so which means you will get past it and these thoughts will simply be a vestige of bad times past and a reminder to watch your back.