He said he'd call her for a date but

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
He said he'd call her for a date but
10
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 12:14am
doesn't know if he'd move right back in with her immediately or 'choose' someone of his own liking - if we broke up again today or if I changed the locks and threw him out again. Gave me a nightmare that if I died tonight, she'd be living in my house next week end. What the hell kind of thing is that to say when we're supposed to be trying to reconcile. He's been home 5 1/2 months now after only being gone 4 and he's still saying crap like this? Why?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 1:09am

HI, I think in "men" talk, he

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 7:57am
Same here - the XOW in my case is someone he'd never even want to be seen in public with, how do you feel knowing that if you separated today, he'd be right back there with her? Its killing me to think about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:05pm
It IS hard to know that he would look her up in a heartbeat if I left him. He SAYS that there was too much destruction to his life caused by his "mistake" to ever go back to her if I left. BUT I know him, he NEEDS that ego boost from someone and he knows as well as I that she would jump at the chance even if it meant hiding out as the dirty secret all over again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 7:38am
We just talked about this last night again. I can't believe he would either and said I was having a hard time with hit. He told the therapist that he was angry and it came out in an argument, afterwards, he told me that he'd meant it, but only if we were 'over' and only after a few weeks of us being 'really over' not just over in his head - and then only because it was a sure thing. He knew he would be 'taken care of' and that it would be a 'booty call' and a 'sure thing' meals when he wanted and what he wanted when he wanted, but he would of course be on the look out for someone that he really wanted, he would just go to her because she's so damned easy and willing. It wouldn't be a 'you're the love of my life and I'm back (though who knows if he'd say what he had to to get back in. But he would have no delusions of thinking he would stay there, just use it as a 'stop gap' til he 'started his 'own' life' OMG - of course he ended the whole conversation with Honey I'm a man and she's a 'sure' thing, no matter what, but I love you and that's never going to happen anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 1:32am

Just goes to show you that most men think with their "other brain" when it comes to women. So, if we left our H, they would be looking up XOW within a short period of time so that they can make sure they have "easy access"(xow motto was anytime, anywhere, whenever he wanted it).

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 7:07pm
That is true - and the OW in my case also said the same - she would travel to great lengths and do anything anywhere anytime - and I mean anywhere and any time. Unbelievable. And I guess like my WS said - a man is a man and if it is presented and 'easy' enough and they were inclined to 'stray' than one of these woman is it, and like you said, she'd think right away that she was "really' the one - never thinking if he did this to his long time relationship partner that he wouldn't do this to 'HOR" go figure, so if our Hs are so inclined than really there is an abundant amount of sleazy woman out there to go to any lengths to give them anything they want for nothing in return. It is kind of disheartening. And I do see where there are so many of these sleazy OW out there that it can be tempting..... good grief! So sad!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 1:41am

Yes, it is very disheartening to know how many woman out there are more than happy to have a MM at their beck and call so that they can "feel good".


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 8:08am
The XOW in my M would drive an hour leave her kids alone, disrobe in a filthy shop and drive back an hour so it wouldn't be too suspicious and he could get home on time... she would also meet in parking lots, in cars - you get the idea - yeah there are woman with no self esteem that will meet anywhere and do anything at any time and apparently think it's 'true love' and not realizing or not caring that they are sluts just to have 'something' in their lives - even if it does belong to someone else and they go home to the someone else.... I just don't get it. But they do make it so easy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 1:31am

Hey, I am beginning to think that our H had the same OW!! Their main place was a park n

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 7:36am
I was thinking they were the same too - the OW here has 3 kids too - which she lost custody of during all this - but she is 42..... No integrity, no morals, no self worth, no conscience nothing...