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| Thu, 03-26-2009 - 12:31pm |
Is the 180 helpful if the ow is long out of the picture and the h is working hard in therapy?
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Yes, I think it can be helpful if only for your own sanity. You get to the point that you know you will be OK with or without him and that is incredibly powerful. Instead of reacting, you begin acting in your own best interests.
It can be overwhelming to contemplate doing at first, so, do look it over and start with just one or two things that you know you will be successful at. If you mess up a couple of times, so what, start over again. As you become successful and see results, you will naturally add other things to what you are doing.
From what I have seen, WSs get pretty antsy when the BS starts the 180. Part of the fog is that they have some control over the BS and will always be able to convince the BS to stay. They have this delusion that if anyone leaves it will be them and the BS will be sitting around waiting for them to return hoping for a few pearls to be thrown her way. The 180 shows them differently. Your H will do a lot of stupid things to get you to abandon the 180, but stick to your guns. It really isn't about him, but about you getting strong and independent.
Thanks, that helps, especially the part about starting with just a few things.
I keep saying I don't think I can continue with him, but don't do anything.
I think I know what you mean. I do live in fear about what he is thinking and feeling, what he is hiding and holding back.
Before the 180 W took the attitude that things were the way she wanted them to be and if I didn't like it too bad.
"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop." Herb Stein
I don't think I can hide how badly I feel right now.
I agree.
I'm not happy that I allowed myself to get in such a bad place the last few days. i am very embarrassed by it. Thanks for all the help.
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