He's doing everything right- do I stay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
He's doing everything right- do I stay?
3
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 3:14pm
My H is doing everything right after I discovered his 2nd affair(a rebound affair that is "normal' behavior according to his therapist).He has taken responsibility, is going to counseling, and is being transparent. I love him but I wonder if he can truly change or is this his true character. Many people would say that a cheater can't change, but life is rarely black and white. There are always gray areas, so i guess that means there's always hope, that maybe a cheater can change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:34pm

Based on what I've posted over the last few days it wouldn't be out of line to wonder if I'm more than a little skeptical about rebuilding right now, but I would.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:38pm
I would say stay put, but dont let your guard down. Remember that some of them do relapse. Mine is not showing any signs of cheating, but he is getting into his crazy moods. i pray that he is not acting that way towards me because he has relapsed of started a 2nd EA. I highly doubt it because he is accountable for his time & does not "disappear" like before, but
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 7:18pm
I am not letting my guard down ,that's for sure! He's very nervous that she will retaliate in some way(being that she's now a woman scorned!) In a way this is good b/c it reminds him of how stupid he's been risking his marriage. He's really a nervous wreck and says he never wants to go thru this again. This 2nd affair was definitely a relapse, but this time I think he's come out of his fog. I hope he's not a hopeless case- the therapist is still evaluating him.