How can I believe him ever again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
How can I believe him ever again?
4
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 2:30pm
Its been 6 months since my D-day. For the most part things between my H and I have been better. The one thing that still nags at me is wondering if he told me everything. He says he never had intercourse with her but how will I know if that's the truth?! He never told me the truth to begin with when I suspected something was wrong. I just want to know everything I feel like I cannot move on, I mean truly move on with these doubts. I have asked him so many times to please tell me the whole truth about the infidelity and he stick to his story. I don't know the woman nor do I have any contact info for her - believe me I tried (her cell phone number no longer works and he does not have or has ever been to her house). Some people on here might think its stupid to try and contact the OW but I dont care. I realize she might lie to me as well about the whole thing. I just cant accept the story he tells me. I just always believe there is more.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 4:55pm

Well, this is my opinion, watch him. And try to make things

.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 6:51pm

my husband told me he was sorry and wanted to rebuild I just couldnt trust him fully I installed a spy software on the computer and found out that he was posting on craigslist and meeting them to have sex and also posting on websites where married people have affairs while pretending to be sorry for what he did and trying to act as a good family man. now its like I cannot trust trust him anymore and I feel that I have to spy on him the whole time and become suspicious of him even if he isnot doing anything . we are so unfortunate to have husbands who cheat on us instead on coming to us and telling us what their problem is and trying to work things out

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 11:41am

If you feel there is more, there probably is. Our intuition is ususally pretty acurate. However, if he won't tell all, the best you can do is probably what these other posts have said. Also I will try to private message you with more tips.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 12:41pm

Ok I'm back. I wasn't able to send you a message, so I'll just put it out here. Depending on your computer & set up, you can click tools, then click internet options, then in that box, find something that says temporary files and click on the settings there. At first you might not see it, but it's there in some form. Just takes a minute to see it. Click on the settings there. Once you do that, find something that refers to "view files." Click on that, and a box will come up that lists every site visited, even if he has deleted the history.


Also, check emails, check to find him on MyS, FB, MyLife, MSN, go to other emails like hotmail, yahoo, aol, any you can think of, and search for him there to see if he has an email you know nothing about. Do a search on his name.


Call the cell phone company & tell them you want the billing changed to detailed calls and texts all listed, if you don't already have it. Some will do this for you with a free online account. Check his cell phone, too, and if you see a number you don't know, look it up on WhitePages.com. You can use the reverse phone format.


If you want to do more, put a GPS on his car. There are all sorts of things like this you can do.


Check to see WHEN certain calls were made. On his lunch hour? Just after work? Check the bank statements to see when and where purchases were made if he uses a bank card, or do the same with the credit card statement. Were