How do you get thru it......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
How do you get thru it......
5
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:03am

I am not sure where to post this - so, since I am just trying to rebuild my own life and my daughter's life - I am posting here.


I am struggling - try to make this as short as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:14pm

Wow...! I read all these posts and I am overwhelmed by all the despair we go through for the men we truly love and adore. Really sorry for you, you have been through so much. My only advice is for you to be strong, take care of you as if you are the most important thing in your life...(with the exception of your daughter of course :) ) The way you picked up the pieces before, start picking them again...what doesn't kill will only make

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 1:48pm

Your mind is certainly in the right place. Your making sure to take care of you and your daughter. One (not the only) thing good that has come out of all of this is that when all is healed, he has freed you as well. You are now finally free to meet someone who will appreciate you and give you all that you deserve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 9:25pm

Thx for your responses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 10:59pm

Wow I give you credit for incredible strength and it does sound like this woman knew what she was doing from minute one... this guy oh man his going to screw her over just like he did to you or she will do it to him one way or another these two sickos deserve each other but oh my gosh what you have up for him. I would be so so angry too and working through that would be one huge mountain. You so sound like you are really strong willed and know in your heart and mind you can do this and I know you will just getting there is the hard part. I think we all wish there was an answer for how we get through the here and now until we get to the better. I know I do. I try to take it moment to moment, day by day and lean on those I can for support. I just found out my husband cheated on me two weeks ago yesterday and my head is still spinning. And he did so with a man. No emotional connection he says... but yuck!! He says he is not sure why a man and it was only once time meeting the rest was just sex talk on the computer or texting. He is not a talker I know this but I could see from the cell phone bills that his calls or texts to and from this person were only ever 1-2 min. so they did not do a lot of either. He does not travel for work and I am laid off too and have been for almost 2 years and this has been happening from what i can see and he says since last October. He does not have much time unaccounted for so it is easier to believe it only happened once in person but an affair is an affair right?

He does say he loves me and only me and wants to make our marriage work, we are already in counseling because I said no way would stay or even think about staying without it. I always thought I would leave in a second if I was ever cheated on and then it happened and I was lost. I have two little girls 2 and 4 who adore their father and I do love him but I do not know if I can get past this and I am not sure he really even knows what is going on inside of him.

So maybe in your case the break was good, you had closure to some extent and can try to move forward... I am in limbo and no sure what I am doing from day to day. If I open up my heart and fight too what if with this therapy he finds out he is gay and wants that for his life. He says no but can I believe he even knows that at this point? Why a man then?

You keep on fighting and take care of your daughter and you will get to a good place again. Maybe then you will find the person who is worthy of you and treats you with the respect you deserve. You will always demand that then I know you will and never never give up anything for a man again.

I have faith from listening to you that you will make it it will just take time.

How does your daughter feel in all this? It must be a hold nightmare for her? You put all your faith, strength and energy into her and hold you head high and that is the best revenge of all.

These two devils will self destruct and you will be stronger, better and happier when their world all comes tumbling down and it will.

Good luck and keep on believe in yourself!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 9:39pm

The grass is alway's greener on the other side, eventually it will be the same green as all the other yards, keep in mind that time is on your side...she will eventually become a wife, overlooked, taken for granted. But you have the same time for your self, meditate let go of the negative energy. It is a great start to write