How long can it last?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
How long can it last?
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 12:18pm

Just a general question, I know that there is no real answer to the question but I just wanted to get people's feedback on the same...

How long can an emotional/cyber/physical affair last? I mean if it's something that they do it for the excitement and the thrill of being "secretive" does that go away once their significat other find out??? I know that every situation is different and sometimes they never end...unfortunately...just wanted to know what everbdoy thought on the same

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 4:26pm

I was reading about sex/love addictions and I seem to remember no more than 18 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 4:54pm
For my husband it lasted
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 9:39am

I have read on other boards about PAs that were very long and still going strong. I am talking 20+ years. I don't think that EAs last long because they tend to either end or become a PA. Both kinds last for as long as there isn't a good reason to end them. Often it is the BS who bears the burden of giving the WS a good reason to end it, and it is usually the threat of ending the M. My H's EA would have gone on for some time if I had not packed my bags.

Frankly, I think that the BS knowing sometimes adds to the thrill by being one more hurdle to jump in order to be naughty. Like Romeo and Juliet going against all odds, it is just one more adverse condition to bond over. If your W was at all concerned about how you felt about it, she wouldn't be doing it in the first place, so your feelings are not a factor in it at all. I don't remember if she is still doing it. If she is, you are not rebuilding, you can't until she puts you first, until you are her first priority. As it is, you are simply one more person in her life that keeps it stable so she can catch another thrill. It really sucks.