How was everyone's weekend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How was everyone's weekend?
7
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 12:39pm

DH and I had a GREAT weekend. We went to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas (dh is a big technology geek LOL!) Between this last weekend and him being home between Christmas and New Years for 10 days we have been spending a lot of time just hanging hout together. I am working very hard at living in the day and not focusing on the past and working more on me and things are going very well. We are having such good times just being together again almost like it was the first few years of our marriage. Dh is a much happier person than I have seen in many years and the man I originally fell in love with seems to be back again.

<> wow that feels good to say. I hope everyone else had a good weekend and is doing well.





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 1:00pm

Hi Kim! I'm so happy to hear your weekend went so well.

H and I had a great weekend too (except it went too fast, but don't they all!). On Friday, we went to a friend's bday party. H was feeling a bit uptight since there were going to be some friends there that he would be seeing for the first time since we got back together. He had some negative feelings towards this couple (who we hung out with a lot prior to the A). Anyway, not only did he get along fine with them, but we ended up going to their house for dinner on Saturday. He was so concerned about giving up all of his "affair" friends as he felt like none of our "old" friends would ever accept him back. So far however, everyone has pretty much allowed the past to be in the past and I think H is very very hopeful about the prospect of still having a lot a friends (I guess he thought the people that supported me during everything would treat him like a leper).

Sunday, the Steelers won, so that made it a good day (sorry any Bengals fans). We just hung out, the two of us, at the house all day. It was great!!!

What about the rest of you rebuilders? How was your weekend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 1:47pm

I "just" saw this board section of the BSSG ... where have I been?????

Anyway, I had a good week end. I'm putting some new shelves in for my wife in a small nook previously hidden behing drywall - clever me! Now she'd like to have some lighting above the shelves ... so much for thinking I was done ;-).

We celebrated my "half-way to 92"th birthday (that's 46 for the mathematicaly challenged. I don't know why I find this so funny, but I do!). My son and nephew once again blew out the candles before the end of the last chorus of "Happy Brithday".

I too enjoyed the Steelers victory, although I hated to see it at the expense of the injury to Carson Palmer. We'll see how the Steelers do next week against Indy.

I did the bills last night (ugh) ... I wish I wouldn't wait til the last minute to face the inevitable.

I'll be looking forward to participating in this section of the BSSG. I hope we see some more veteran rebuilders doing well.

Cheers - Danny

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 3:27pm

Our weekend was wonderful but went way too fast:( Friday we had a quite night at home after a looooooong week. Saturday day my daughter had a hockey game and her team won. Saturday night my H's work had their after the Holidays party. We had an amazing dinner we got all dressed up and my h could not stop telling how pretty I looked :) We rented a room at the hotel it was held at even though we only live 5 minutes down the road.. We decided at 10:30 we had enough of the crowds and went to our room. It had a hot tub and Gas fire place so we sat in the tub with the fire going watching the end of the Patriots game.. Sunday my daughter had another Hockey game and they won again!!! My youngest daughter and I played pin ball before the game and she got high score both times while my h laughed at me.. Then we went to my nephews birthday party for a few hours. Then back home for a nice quite family dinner.... It was busy but soooooooooo much fun. I have to say I am feeling pretty happy theses days!!

Irene

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 3:55pm

First I want to say a big thank you for starting this Rebuilding thread. Also, thanks a million to everyone who posts on these forums. You all have helped me & my H more than you'll ever know.

My H & I have certainly had our ups and downs over the past 3 1/2 months (I've posted on the BS Board before and in my confusion said I was farther along since Dday than I was!) I certainly was in a fog for awhile and couldn't think or add! Anyway, I used my Christmas bonus money to get some counseling (just what I wanted for C.mas!) and I think my H & I have finally turned the corner towards better days. H is being patient and listening to me. He's pleased when I tell him he's done something right (he quit watching a show the other night that had some triggers for me.) I was surprised he was that thoughtful, but I sure appreciated it. I think he'll do that kind of thing more often now that he realizes that the small gestures are the most meaningful.

My counselor said that in order for me to let go of the bad obsessive thoughts about the A I need to start focusing on me. I need to start doing things that make me happy. I'm going to write down bad feelings as they hit me and hopefully I'll be able to work through them without rehashing it with my H. We've rehashed everything so many times that I'm sick of myself sometimes! My counselor also said that I probably need to back off a little from my husband (giving advice, quit trying to convince him that the OW is a selfish b****, etc.) She said that if I continue doing that then I become the "pursuer" and H becomes the "distancer." I have to let him work out some of his feelings on his own, and vice versa.

H cleared up some other details about the A that made a huge difference in my perspective on the whole thing (for the better for me.) I'm working on keeping the good conversations my H & I have had in my brain and I will hopefully continue to push out the negative thoughts. Thanks again and I wish everybody much success in their rebuilding. Everyone's points of view have been extremely helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 4:16pm

We had a great weekend, though it was busy and went entirely too fast!

Our daughter got her wisdom teeth out Friday. She came home from college, I took her to her appt., brought her home and babied her :) H brought her home some ice cream when he came home from work. Our granddaughter spent the night so Auntie C could spend some time with her before returning to campus on Saturday. That evening we all sat around and watched Finding Nemo.

Saturday I made breakfast for everyone and then we took down our Christmas tree and hauled it out. Put all the decorations away and set everything back to rights. Our daughter left after lunch time. She did really well with the surgery, a little puffy cheeked but other than that A-Ok. Our son picked up the granddaughter around 4 in the afternoon and then H and got ready and went to meet his cousins for dinner at a great steak house. Had a lovely dinner with them and on our way home we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. Spent the rest of the evening chilling out after a busy day.

Sunday we got up, showered and went out to breakfast. Then we headed off to the Lawn and Garden show at the convention center. Walked around, enjoyed the displays and got a few ideas for our own yard come spring. Left there and went to a little pub around the corner from the center for a burger and a beer. Walked around downtown for a little bit and then left downtown to do a few errands closer to home. Came home and cut out the material for daughters curtains. I'm a novice seamstress, so these curtains are nothing fancy at all. Just some inexpensive material found on a clearance table, a very simple pocket for a rod and a hem. I hope to be done with them by Friday so H can take them to her when he goes down for Dad's weekend this weekend. After I got those cut out we watched the movie Four Brothers...it was a good one. We turned in early since it had been such a busy weekend.

We've really been making the most of our weekends since Dday. We make it a point to get out every weekend and do something together. We're also getting to the point where we're doing our thing occassionally at some point during the weekend. Right after Dday I was not at all at ease with him doing anything that took him away from home without me at his side. Now I've found my comfort zone and can handle him going off without me. I think it's a relief to both of us that I've gotten there. Each of us always valued our own personal time and even though we're thoroughly enjoying our renewed excitement in spending time together, I think we were both missing some alone time here and there.

Glad to see we all seemed to have had great weekends!

VLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 10:01pm
Well my husband is in recovery from surgery. So Friday my Sister in law took us out to dinner to a FAVORITE resteraunt before she left back for her country. Then we chilled watched our family movie and ate ice cream with kids. This is our usual friday night. Saturday again we were lazy. We went to go view my SIL's new house on Saturday as well as get some fast food for supper *culver's*. Husband has been on happy pills that leave him very tired so we just layed around played board games with the kids and watched movies along with some cuddling of course. Sunday more of our cuddling, kids went out to play with the neighbors and we squeezed in some sunday love;)
I made a big supper and that was it. Can't do much while husband is recovering but just being together talking, playing.
But it was a great weekend!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 5:04pm

I'm going to revive this thread instead of starting a new "How was your weekend," okay?
H & I really had a good week last week. He took off work Friday and we spent the day together. It was something we both looked forward to all of last week. We went out to eat and had a nice time. I was able to keep control of a few trigger moments during the week in order to not spoil our evenings or our planned Friday outing. I kept focusing on having a good day on Friday and I was able to get through the week.

You know how when things are going good then the rug gets pulled out from under you? Well, lo and behold my sister-in-law's H walked out on her Saturday with no explanation. I find myself being drawn into her "just finding out" emotions like I did months ago. It's probably another woman from the clues we're uncovering, but we're not sure at this point. Anyway, I'm starting to feel the anger rising again because I'm in the frame of mind that "men are pigs" and so are the women they cheat with.

I'm writing these feelings in a journal and hope to keep it under control. It's not fair to take out my anger about my brother in law on my husband. Has anybody else had to face helping a family member through the same ordeal you've been though, and how do you keep yourself from spiraling down with them? My H's family has no idea what we've been through and we don't plan on telling them. I'm just 3 1/2 months since Dday and I'm concerned for my own mental health in helping my SIL through this. Thanks for the advice!