I thought I could get through it on my own

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2011
I thought I could get through it on my own
4
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 10:31pm

My h's affair lasted about two years. As I think of it now, I am at a place where it is an issue of trust. I do not trust him. There are so many things still going through my head and I feel so alone with them. For periods of time I think I am ok and then I am raging, want to cry and want to hurt someone.

He finally "ended it" with her is October 2010 or so. But I do not believe that he wants it to be over with her. The problem that we face is that they still work in the same office.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2011
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 8:10am
To me- if you don't have trust in a relationship then you have nothing!! Personally I knew that staying would be more torture for me than dealing with the betrayal and learning to live again- on my own. Don't get me wrong- what hurts theist is that I can love him and hate him at the same time. But we didn't ask for our H's to have these affairs so it seems totally unfair that we deal with the fallout!! First and foremost you need to make the conscious decision to stay or to go because that is the first choice of the rest of your life!! Hope this helps hon!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 12:17pm

How is it that they can seem as if all is ok and can "get past it" so easily and I still feel like my heart is breaking. ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2011
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 6:11pm

Thank you. I have made a conscious decision to stay. For me I guess I thought that once it was over I could get past some things. Right now I know that I need to work on me. Don't get me wrong.. he is doing things to try to prove to me that he is serious but it's hard for me to get on with it. I think it has to do with the fact that through all of this I have had no one who understands what it is like to feel like you are losing your mind over this; and when I bring it up with my H it's like I am coming out of left field.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2011
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 6:16pm
I can see that. He gave me so many different reasons as to why it happened. Each time I asked it changed. But he never came out to say what I thought it really was... He had to see if he still had it..he wanted to be desireable to other women.