i ve backed off... now he is insecure

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
i ve backed off... now he is insecure
2
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 12:30pm

Ive been doing the 180 the best i can, we have been rebuilding for 3 months now. Now, one of my issues is that he has become insecure about me. He has accused me several times of seeing other men, with absolutely no proof or reason to be suspicious of me! Today he got angry and began accusing me of having an affair after he had a "dream" in which i am dating & sleeping with another man!!! He is adamant that his dream is true & is asking me to please tell him the truth.


I think he is feeling this way because i ve backed off from him, i dont call him during the day, i dont text, im following the "no frequent contact rule".


Its just mind boggling that he is the one that cheated and now he is accusing me of doing such.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 3:13pm
Mind boggling yes, unusual no.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 3:23pm

i agree thinkingman,


they are master manipulators & sometimes even after the rebuilding is well underway, they will try to fault & blame in us as an excuse to stray again, i know my H used to look for any miniscule little thing to fuss about, just as an excuse to run back to the OW


they also judge as they do, the only way to make sure that we are not being manipulated again is to recognize theit tactics & stand up to them. i look back and think of all the times & ways in which he manipulated me before i was aware of his A & i feel like such a fool! but now i have learned & can recognize when my H is trying to "shift blame", "divert attention" or manipulate his way out of or into something.