I wish I knew what was going on...
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|Sat, 04-29-2006 - 5:17pm|
Dh moved out again in March. DD was in September at which time he immediately moved back home after a month separation. BIG mistake. Anyway I found out he was still having contact and since he doesn't know what he wants, (How many times have you all heard that one?) He moved out and made me believe it was all about us trying to work things out. Well I found out he has been having contact with her and having sex with her on occasion. He told me up front and honest. Said he cared deeply for me and felt obligated to her but had his reservations and sometimes wished he could just be by himself. I told him I thought that was a good idea. I told him it was important that he was honest with me no matter what it was. He couldn't possibly hurt me anymore than he already has. I told him I wanted to stop focusing on getting back together and just focus on being friends. Hopeful that would give us a stronger foundation to build on if reconciliation was in the cards. He agreed, told me he loved me and left. That was last Monday. Wednesday he came to see the kids and we had a great time. Played outside with them and went for a walk. He didn't leave until 8pm. Thursday he came to see the kids soccer game and when I looked in his car I noticed that the clothes he was wearing the day before were in the back seat. Also he had new socks on and was wearing other clothes that had been in his car before. I got silent and he asked, "Now what?" I told him my concern that he stayed overnight at her house. He got angry and made up some excuse. Blah, blah, blah. Stormed off and would not take any of my calls.
The next day he called me and asked me if I was okay. Like I was a mental patient or something. Then he acted like nothing happened. Said we would talk about it next week sometime.
My problem is that I told him that I needed him off the fence by July 1st. That did not mean we had to get back together then but at that time it was either me or her. By this time I would imagine that he would be leaning in a direction. I thought because we were getting along it was towards me. Now I believe that he is just biding his time. If he had any intention of getting rid of her, he would not be embedding himself deeper.
When do these men finally wake up? How long can they possible sit on the fence? I am getting a divorce July first.
Oh and he has yet to go to counseling. His deadline for that was April 7th.
Sometimes I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.