I'm so confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
I'm so confused
12
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 9:11am

my dh and I have been trying to rebuild (sort of) for a few months now.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 3:17pm

He admits he doesn't love me the way he should (like a wife) but feels it's a problem within himself and the choices he's made.


Have you asked him to clarify why these internal problems keep him from loving you like a wife?


Have you asked him what choices past or present

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 4:43pm
What were the details of his affair? Did he break it off OR did she break it off? My H was having an emotional affair with a woman and was totally infatuated with her and started to talk to me about getting a divorce. BUT, when he found out she didn't want to take it any further he quickly changed his tune about the divorce. I was ready to leave when I found out about the OW but he begged me to stay. But I wonder how much of it had to do with him really loving me or how much had to do with he couldn't take losing BOTH of us and being alone. Could it be your H just doesn't want to be alone and that's why he begged you to stay? If SHE was the one that ended it that is a good possibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 9:05pm

Have you asked him what choices past or present

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 9:10pm

it was an EA that ended when I found out ... and at first he wasn't ready for it to end but as soon after it went to NC he told me his mind was clearer and he was mortified by his actions.


I honestly think it's over and whatever feelings were there then are gone ... he just is beating himself up so much over this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 2:30am
So maybe he means he's not romantically in love with you. I got the old "I love you like a sister" line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 7:26am

what I am trying to figure out is why he wants me to give him more time if that's how he feels.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 2:31pm
Maybe the ow doesn't want him anymore and he just doesn't want to be alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 3:17pm
Exactly just how is he "working" on it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 4:38pm

yes, I am sure the ea is over.


he is working hard on accepting what he did ... he really struggles with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 3:00pm

I don't know faith. He can soul search all he wants too and that is good

Pages