It's different somehow
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|Thu, 06-25-2009 - 11:02am|
This morning the alarm went off and I hit the snooze, she rolled over onto my shoulder as she sometimes does. It's always nice to have someone soft and warm next to you, but I realized that I felt no connection to this person. No feeling that she's "mine" or that there's anything special between us. At that moment it actually felt better than what I've been feeling, the conflict and crushed dreams, the desperate hope that maybe something will change for the better.
Since leaving home for the day I've been really emotional and I can't explain why. Maybe it's uncertainty of how to take the next step. Maybe it's mourning for a lost connection that felt like home. It feels like unexplored territory.