I've tried that trust thing already

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
I've tried that trust thing already
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 11:38pm

It's been over two years since d-day. That seems like forever when I say it, but there was a lot to deal with, and I'm not fast at overcoming emotional trauma.

Anyway, I am still having a lot of issues with trust even though my H is doing everything he can and as far as I can tell and as far as he tells me, he is being more honest and trustworthy than he ever has been. The irony that NOW I don't trust him is not lost on either of us.

I realized recently that part of my problem with trust is that I trusted him pretty much blindly for 22 years. Meanwhile we was with multiple women which he all kept hidden, and lied to me many, many times.

I guess part of me feels that, hey, I tried being the devoted, trusting wife and look where that got me! I am so afraid to trust again and then if something happens have to look back and just realize that I was terribly foolish and I should have known better now that I know what I know.

I guess I have to decide if my husband really has changed for good, and how do you know that? Or if I'm willing to take the risk to be proven a fool.

I know this is a very common question. How do you trust again? How do you know if you can trust someone? etc., etc., but it still helps me to rant about it when I'm going through it.

So thanks for being here and for any comments, insights in advance. You are always appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 12:22am

You're singing my song, Red.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 2:15am

YUP, in the same boat as you. Its been about two years for me too and I really have no intention of letting myself give back that trust. Just like you, I never want to be the fool again. After dday#1, I was quick to give back the trust and he took that and used it against me hooking up with OW again right under my nose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 6:48am

Hey, congrats on the two years! Probably the longest two years of your life eh?

Thought I'd share a couple thoughts with you on the trust issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 4:02pm

I'm glad I opened up this thread.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 11:13pm
amen to that
I am totally thankful to all the good men that post here as well
their posts give me real hope