I've tried that trust thing already
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|Thu, 02-04-2010 - 11:38pm|
It's been over two years since d-day. That seems like forever when I say it, but there was a lot to deal with, and I'm not fast at overcoming emotional trauma.
Anyway, I am still having a lot of issues with trust even though my H is doing everything he can and as far as I can tell and as far as he tells me, he is being more honest and trustworthy than he ever has been. The irony that NOW I don't trust him is not lost on either of us.
I realized recently that part of my problem with trust is that I trusted him pretty much blindly for 22 years. Meanwhile we was with multiple women which he all kept hidden, and lied to me many, many times.
I guess part of me feels that, hey, I tried being the devoted, trusting wife and look where that got me! I am so afraid to trust again and then if something happens have to look back and just realize that I was terribly foolish and I should have known better now that I know what I know.
I guess I have to decide if my husband really has changed for good, and how do you know that? Or if I'm willing to take the risk to be proven a fool.
I know this is a very common question. How do you trust again? How do you know if you can trust someone? etc., etc., but it still helps me to rant about it when I'm going through it.
So thanks for being here and for any comments, insights in advance. You are always appreciated!