Keeping tabs on spouse while rebuilding?
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|Thu, 04-16-2009 - 11:32pm|
After D Day, I became obsesses with one thing. "Where is she?" I knew within half an hour where she was at any given moment. When she had to go to school and two of the dudes were still in that class. I had to be on the phone with her just before and just after. if she didn't answer her phone I would panic. I told her mother about the affair because the main other man lived in her town and I would not have her babysitting for another affair. DW went to her sisters home for a night and I called her sister to make sure she was there all night.
DW didn't really complain, in fact she became very gracious about it. When I had to go out of town for three days, she had her mother come up and stay with her without me having to ask. Maybe I'm being controlling, maybe she doesn't trust herself and uses this as a crutch to be faithful. I don't know. But me knowing where she is has not been a point of contention since D Day.
This is a landmark weekend. I have to go to Kansas City tomorrow. She's home with the kids till Sunday. She promises to text me. She is thinking of taking the kids to one of the national parks on Saturday and use her folks home as a jump off place. Her folks are in Mexico. I'm surprisingly not freaking out yet. On my last trip i didn't freak out until I got to the hotel. Hotels freak me out a bit.
I found out that I was out drinking when DW and the OM were at the hotel and I hadn't touched a drop after D day until I got to that hotel and freaked out after the trade show and went across the street and had a couple five beers. (but not a drop again since) I have a booknerd buddy staying with me at this show. I'm hoping that will help.
My next show is really going to be hard. It's the show I was at when she began her affair. She's coming with me this year. And from now freaking on! Ugh!
I know, I'm coming across as psyco. But my sales trips are really upsetting to me and I'm off in the morning. I think I'm going to be ok. Or I just might lose it.