Learning to Forgive
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|Thu, 01-12-2006 - 3:46pm|
My husband and I are married 7 years. We dated for about 1.5 years before getting married. He has always been very attentive and caring toward me, but during the first few years of our relationship, he also did things that made me feel betrayed and nervous. While we were dating, he maintained friendships with his ex-wife and other female friends. I felt I did not have a right to tell him not to, so I kept silent. After we got married, he still occasionally called female friends, and I also found out that he participated in sex chats (online and telephone). I told him how I felt, and he would stop for a while but then it would happen again.
After several years of fighting, he finally stopped this behavior about four years ago. Having learned better assertive skills, I finally communicated to him that his behavior was not acceptable and that I could not be in a relationship where I could not trust him. Since then, our marriage has been much better.
The problem is, though, that I still feel afraid and angry. I constantly wonder whether his behavior went beyond phone and sex chats and whether he actually had a physical affair with anyone. And I frighten myself with thoughts that maybe he is still doing things behind my back, even though things seem much better between us.
I have discussed my fears with him, and he says that he never had an affair. But I still continue to wonder.
How do I move past these feelings?