This may help if you are rebuilding

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
This may help if you are rebuilding
18
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 8:04pm
I am not sure if any of you have been on the Beyond Affairs Network (BAN), but it will provide local support groups in your area and lots of other info. I actually applied to be a coordinator in my area to start a group locally. They talk about a book that I have not gotten to read, but plan on it.
My Husband's Affair Book Cover

This book has had great reviews and it is nice to know I am not the only one that feels that way. I feel like people look at me like I am crazy when I say that his A actually ended up saving our marriage, but it is true. It is hard. Who can actually look at their spouse's A and be like I am so glad my H had an A. No, I am not glad or happy that he had the A. It was the most horrible, excrutiating time of my life that I never want to think about going through again, but had it not happened we may have ended up apart, but from the problems we had in our marriage that actually led up to the A. In dealing with the A we dealt with emotions, wants, needs, etc that were problems in our marriage that we never really discussed before, but the A forced them out. Then coming so close to losing each other made both of us realize the love we had and what we needed to do to make sure we worked together and met each others needs. Our marriage is better now than it has ever been and crazy as it sounds, I trust him more now than I ever did before. The A made me a different, stronger, better

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2010
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 11:13pm

tkea


it's been 3 months since dd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 6:37am
Please don't get any of us wrong, there are a lot of us on this site that are not bitter or resentful after time... but it does take a great deal of time and work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 12:11am

itsnevereasy


thank goodness for this site!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 1:44am

He doesn't want to talk about it? Guess what you're not crazy about hearing all the hurtful detail either... but talk you must if anyone is to move ahead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 12:03pm
i'm not sure whether i want to hear all the questions i've written down on the book.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 7:33am
Its not a miracle you're looking for, girlfriend, but regardless of what any of us were looking for, its a whole nother world now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:14pm
There is no BAN near me - not even a support group for the BS - I wish there was. MC once a week for an hour just doesn't seem like enough - even with these boards even though they are helpful !!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 2:52pm

I'm not sure how this chat site works as it is my first but I would like to reply to all of you on this discussion.

sad09
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 9:20pm
Only you can answer if you should be with a partner.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2010
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 10:46pm

So yes, how do we justify going back to these people?

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