? for men..or anyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
? for men..or anyone
10
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 11:14am

Hi-


Is this within normal limits or behavior for men?


My h told me a story about being on a business trip.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 11:03am
Thanks so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 9:52am
This is a very interesting topic. My DH also has always had wandering eyes when it came to other women. Initially it bothered me but after a lot of years I just didn't pay it any attention. After D-Day nine months ago I actually would almost get a panic attack if he looked too closely at another woman. During counseling our MC had my DH read a book Every Man's Battle which impacted my DH so profoundly that he doesn't stare at other women anymore. In the book, it stated that every man has a lustful spirit and it gave key elements on how to break the habit of
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 8:49am

Thanks.


He feels this is a learned behavior that he picked up when young and trying to figure out how to be a man.


I wonder if he does it out of a kind of numbness, as a subsitute for feeling his real emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 5:22pm
Here's an interesting bit of information from my H's. therapist. She suggested he get his testosterone level checked as it may be too high, in which case it might cause an addiction to affairs or an unusually high level of arousal. It's good that he could stop himself, but maybe there is a hormonal component. Don't know what you can do about it though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 4:38pm
Yes, changing his route so he can get a better look sounds immature.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 3:19pm

Thanks for the insight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 2:18pm
Speaking of traveling I had a 3 1/2hr layover February of last year in Atlanta and found my way to a restaraunt in the concourse.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 1:47pm

I travel a decent amount, or atleast I use to. There are certain hotels in major cities where this is very true. I thought is was very risky to meet someone in a bar and then hop into bed with that person.


Did I think about it yes, but would I ever do it, heck no.


When I am walking in a mall and I see a woman with hip hugger jeans on I will notice. I will follow her with my eyes.


Jack

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 12:55pm
I think this is good that he didn't act on his impulses and also that he told you about it. It means he's growing up and making the appropriate choices. thank him for being honest w/you and not acting out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 12:40pm
I'm not against looking, but touching is off limits.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein