Moving on seems hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Moving on seems hard.
6
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:24am
Hi,new here, i just thought i could find comfort.. To be honest, the present sucks. I wish i could rewind the past or fastfoward into the future. Its barely 3 months after my H left me for the OW. I was preg at the time with our first baby. He just broke it off ,a day after our romantic weekend. He confessed to anything except that she was preg with his baby and left me for her a week later. That same time i miscarried (was 3 months preg) he wasnt even there when i was in hospital. Am struggling to move on, the pain of losing him and my baby is just too much. Everyday i think about him and his new love en the baby they will have & how happy they must be. Its just too much. I dnt know what to do to get past all this. Anyone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2012
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 4:51am
hi, I'm new here as well. You're pain is unimaginable and honestly, it makes me upset that you have to go through this. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was cheated on, lied to countless times, and mistreated. But I didn't find out all of that until after baby was born. I know it sounds crazy, but I still love him. I'm not sure if you can relate to that feeling. But how I viewed the entire situation I went through is this is supposed to happen. This is my plan, my destiny. I'm going to come out stronger. But one thing that you need to do is find one thing to focus on when those 'bad thoughts/feelings' come up. I found thinking about God and the master plan for my life helpful (and no, I'm not a super christian. Never even opened a Bible) That may or may not work for you but try and find one happy place to help divert your thoughts to. It helps me sometimes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2012
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 4:57am
p.s. You're a strong woman, dealing with what you are. He doesn't deserve you. One day, you will meet someone and you will hopefully get pregnant and have that precious child. And because of this experience you're dealing with right now, you will be more loving, grateful, and strong for your future family. I know a future is extremely hard to think about right now, but I promise some kind of future is there. Start living the most you can and make it as positive you can and now, start living for yourself and focus purely on yourself for a little because YOU deserve it completely
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 10:12am
Thank you all for your encouragement. Its funny that i still love him, but there is no point thinking about what might have been. Finding a new hobby will help greatly.At least i know there is someone out there going a rough patch. Thats enough to keep me going.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 10:25am

Hugs, mumbi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 2:41pm
I will remember that, thank you alot ollie. My family have been very helpful. But sometimes when the pain becomes unbearable, i just pray to God. Counseling sounds to be a good idea, i will try it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 2:45pm
Thank you so much, i will remember that. Family & friends have been very supportive. I think i will also consider counseling, it seems to be a good idea.