My choice so why am I upset???
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|Sun, 04-16-2006 - 12:56pm|
Well it is Easter and I am at work. I make the schedule and put myself on to avoid having to go to my h's sisters house for dinner. During his A he stayed with her and she told me I should "understand he was very young when we got together and he needs to explore his options". Her SO is cheating on her and has been for quite some time. My H was working with him at the time. So work was more of a play ground then anything else.. Plus some other issues there as well.
Anyway, I am starting to feel sorry for myself. Is this stupid or what?? I make the choice not to go because it was made more then clear during his A that my feelings and loyalty to her brother did not matter to her at all. She does not like me and hasn't since pretty much day one. So why after all this time pretend and "act" as if we are friends/family. I have no desire to ever step foot in her home again. But it still hurts my feelings. I have never done anything to her. I have always been good to her and her children. I would do anything for her kids in a heart beat. However I know the feeling is not the same in regard to me. I do not want to stand in my H's way this is his family and he should be able to visit with them. It just suchs that I have to miss spending a Holiday with my kids. I did it so they did not miss out on being with their cousins. I want them to have happy memories of Holidays spent with family. Yet I fear that be removing myself none of their memories will include me their mother. I do spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with the family. These holidays are held at my mother in-laws house so I feel a bit more comfortable.
My h did not get upset with me for not going. Yet he also did not say he was sorry I felt that uncomfortable to not go either. This just sucks!!!!!! Am I doing the right thing? Or is my avoiding hurting my kids. I told them I had to work and left it that but they are smart kids they know I hate to miss any type of holiday with them.
Now I feel blahhhhhhhhhh and want to just go to bed and end this day..
Thanks for letting me vent.. Irene