Myra has a hissy fit

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Myra has a hissy fit
3
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:43pm

DH has had 2 EAs, it appears neither turned physical, even the therapist is sure about that.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 10:16pm

I just wanted to send you hugs Myradorn! You have been through the ringer and I hope you can find some peace in your life soon. Heaven knows you deserve it.

please take care of yourself, Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 3:24pm
Thanks.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 12:15pm

Oh, I am sorry Myra. This kind of creeper lie is the worst kind. They claim they don't want to tell you everything because they want to "protect" you when really they just want to protect themselves from facing the consequences of their choices. Just one more selfish choice among many, but one that hurts more than others because it comes after you have begun to heal and it puts you back to square one.

When DH realized that it was the lies that were doing the real long term damage, he manned up and started telling the truth. If he had not, I don't think I would be with him now. At one point I told him that I didn't know how many more lies I could forgive and that I was about at my limit. One concept he could wrap his head around was the Love Bank. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html I made it clear that he was getting close to overdrawn so he better just tell me all of it while I was in a forgiving mood because it wasn't going to last.

Whatever the reason your H has for being a lier, his behavior is common among WS. It is convenient to be able to blame his Dad, but the adult choice to continue the childhood behavior was his. What adult choices is he going to make now?