Need some input ASAP
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|Fri, 01-13-2006 - 9:43am|
Last year, H went to a blues festival in Memphis with a mutual (male) friend of ours. His friend is going again this year and wants H to go. He would most likely fly out on a Friday morning and return Sunday. The trip is at the end of January and he needs to let his friend know by tomorrow if he is going so that plane tickets can be purchased.
H and I are going to discuss it tonight. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be controlling and tell hubby he "can't" go, plus, he really had a good time last year and I know he would enjoy himself this year. My problem is that I don't think that I'm ready for him to go away for a weekend without me yet (remember, he only moved back home in Dec).
Also, although I like the friend he would be going with (we are couple friends with him and his on-again, off-again girlfriend), I'm just not sure of this person's personal values when it comes to marriage/affairs. He has been married and divorced twice, he and his girlfriend act like a couple of teenagers in regards to how they are constantly breaking up and getting back together (this is always very dramatic with the last time resulting in certified letters being exchanged... these people are 50!). Also, this person knew of the affair, told me that he didn't like OW, but never said anything to my H to the affect that what H was doing was wrong. The person saw the trama I was going through and but still at one point got in my face and said rather meanly, "Can't you see, H has moved on... he's over you!" WTF!
So, what do I do? I don't want H to think I am being clingy or controlling. I want to get to the point where I totally trust him. Maybe it's not even so much a matter of trust. I think I am just scared that this friend will somehow say something to my H that will make him second guess his choice to work on our marriage. I can honestly say that if H wanted to go with a different friend somewhere, I would most likely have no problem with it (even at this early stage).
I don't know how to address this and I need your help!!!