need to VENT!!!!!!
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|Thu, 01-12-2006 - 11:04am|
Ok so things have been going really good at home. That is until I decide I want to learn how to drive! Then my H starts with every excuss in the book why I cant. I have ignored him and gone ahead got my permit and start driving school on Monday. Well now he is in the poor me phase of things. He has had bad dreams about me meeting someone else at this class WTF!!!! Why after all I have gone through to get to a point where I can see us happy again would I do that? Not to mention I would never hurt anyone this way EVER!!! So I said to him that I know he is scared but I will be fine and I am not interested in meeting anyone else!! i thought ok he needed me to make him feel more secure... Well then he keeps it up telling me I can't wear this sweater and he is not happy with the hours of the class and on and on!! Then again with I will meet someone else and leave him crap... Well I got pissed this morning. I started to think if he keeps thinking I am going to meet someone else then is that what he would do even now knowing the pain and wedge it caused between us? Is it his own guilt talking? Or is it fear that I will do it to get even?? WTF how stupid can these men be??
The icing on the cake for me was a call from him a few minutes ago. He starts to tell me this story about a guy he used to work with. This guys wife is about to have their first child any day now. Quess what he got some OW pregnant TOO!! He was going to pay for her to have an abortion and his wife found out. Now he is telling me like I am one of the guys.... Did he forget I got to here him tell is OW how sorry he was she was not having his child?? Did he think I would think this was cool? Funny? Did this make his x co-worker a stud??? I lost it I started to tell him how bad he was making me feel. How stupid all his friends are to risk there families for anything in a skirt!! How cold and cruel it is for ANYONE to do this another human! I never liked this person or his w for that matter but my heart breaks for her!! How could he do this to her? How could my H think this was something I would want to hear? It was just the way he said it to like he was up on his high horse casting judgement on this guy!!! He was in his shoes he got lucky is all!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just don't get it. Why can't he see that somethings just hit such a painful nerve in me?? Now I am going to have to figure out away to get the sound of his voice out my head again.. The one I heard on her voice mail telling her he was sorry but they would have years together to have their child!!!
I hate set backs!!!! I want to go to bed and forget this day even started!!
Thanks for letting me vent.. Irene