The Other Woman

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2010
The Other Woman
7
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 10:33am

Good Article...


Studies show that married men rarely leave a marriage to be with the other woman. Surveys have found the the wife is more often than not, more attractive, better sexually, and obviously of higher character than the other woman. Realize that the other woman is a pitiful character.



  • 2

    It is natural to place slightly more blame on the other woman than your husband, despite the fact that your husband has broken sacred vows. Evolutionary psychologists have found that men are wired to have affairs, women are not. While this in no way excuses men from exercising free agency to decide to stay committed, it does shed some light on the moral compass of the other woman. She has none. Attempting to steal a woman's husband and a child's father is as equal a moral crime for a woman, as rape is for a man. She is a threat to the most sacred unit on earth, the family.



  • 3

    While you may want to throw sugar in her gas tank, order a hundred magazine subscriptions in her name, or simply call her up to vent venom, constrain yourself. One phone call at the time of discovery is understandable, but you do not want any more involvement with this woman than you already have. You are "the" wife. She is "the other" woman. Do you hear the difference? "The other" suggests a dis, a "less than" position. You hold a higher place on the moral ladder, and although this may be one of the hardest things you ever do, you want to conduct yourself with control and grace.



  • 4

    By virtue of the actions she has taken, the other woman must be a self-centered, drama-loving individual, who has little fear of consequences from a higher being. If you attempt to go head to head with such a person there will be no winning. Both husband and wife should agree to have no contact with the other woman. If you must be in the same location, treat her as if she is invisibible. This is the absolute WORST thing you can do to a person of this type.



  • 5

    The other woman may not give up easily. Even if she does, in your mind she will remain the third party in your marriage for a long while. You just have to wade through it all. Time will soften the pain after a year or two. In the meantime, do not let her win. Gather up all your strength and self-control and continue to have her believe she is a non-entity. Control and grace are key.

  • iVillage Member
    Registered: 09-08-2011
    Wed, 09-14-2011 - 2:25pm
    One suggestion - he can get the # changed - yes it is a pain but that might be necessary to drive the point. Now if she magically gets the new number then it's a problem.
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 07-12-2010
    Fri, 08-20-2010 - 2:18pm

    My FWH's XOW was a real D.O.G. also and I make her look like road kill. My DH and I do really well financially and the XOW was living

    Avatar for cirrus1993
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 04-12-2003
    Fri, 08-20-2010 - 12:34am
    Great article.
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 05-19-2010
    Fri, 07-16-2010 - 1:50pm
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 07-12-2010
    Fri, 07-16-2010 - 11:22am

    You will never understand the thought process of a woman who chooses to sleep with a MM. They are warped and in their own little fantasy world. They hide out in hotel rooms and stay hidden from the MM real life and hang onto his every word. The give up all respect and dignity just to have a small piece of another woman's H. They are pitiful creatures. Sort of like algae growing on the bottom of the ocean floor out of site hiding themselves out. A woman who settles for being the OW is already pitiful and destructive to herself and others around her. She is not even worth getting angry at, she should be pitied. The anger that she is displaying is because she is trying to guilt your DH back into the A. Your DH didn't trick her (trick), she knew he was M and tried to take him away from his you. She is just mad because she didn't get what she wanted. She is a self entitled, self absorbed, pitiful woman who only cares about herself and what she wants. You and your DH have to stand together and you have to make him feel safe so he will continue to let you know when the skank-ho calls.


    He also needs to find a way to block her from calling. I know you are mad at him but you have to support him in this awful mistake and stand together with him to get rid of this fungi from your lives. As long as he continues to be honest with you support him and work on forgiving him which took me a long time. Eventually the skank-ho will get tired of making a fool out of herself and crawl back into her nasty cave and chase after someone else's H. I don't know if she is M but if she is I stongly suggest letting her H know that she is still contacting your H. If she is not you might want to contact her family and let them know. Exposing her bad behavior is the best way to get her out of your lives. When I found out about my DH, I told all of her co-workers and his what they were doing. I told everyone and dared him to stop me. You might want to even send a letter to her HR department telling them that she is harrassing you. You have to let these cheaters know that you aren't going to put up with their bull.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 05-21-2010
    Thu, 07-15-2010 - 8:16pm

    I needed this post too. We ended up having to block the OW's number from our phones because she would show up about once a month. We have blocked her on all our social network pages. You would think she would get the message but no..just the other day she sent my H an request to add her to his buddies on a messaging program that he uses.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 05-19-2010
    Thu, 07-15-2010 - 7:01pm