OW had a baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
OW had a baby
11
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 1:54am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 8:48am
I am soooo sorry that you have found yourself here. But you have come to a good place, we welcome you with open arms, because we get your pain. Granted our stories are all different our pain is all the same.
So i am a little confused by your post,is the baby 3 months today? or did the affair end Jan 2009 and the baby is now 13 months???
Your H put you in a difficult position - he continued to lie, cheat and betray you while you were under the notion that you were rebuilding. What is he saying now? It is very difficult to trust once the lies never stop. Do you have children together?? Does he plan on being a parent to this OC?
I would suggest that you look for IC right away. A betrayal of this kind is very hard to move forward from. My STBX also got OW pregnant (thankfully she choose to have an abortion).. I think for me I would never have been able to stay if she had had the baby. (but i don't know that for sure). He is my STBX so really it doesnt matter...
Continue to post - there are actually a few other woman on this board recently that are in a similar situation then you - hopefully they will respond... You might also want to repost up top under "JUST FOUND OUT"...
I wish you all the best... sending you huge hugs..... ((((HUGS)))))
Keep posting.. it really does help..... xo Nicole
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 8:52am
I wouldn't make any sort of decision at all w/o legal advice and a paternity test showing that your H is the father of this child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 11:36am

I understand.

Photobucket

A baby is a gift from God

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 5:19pm
Thanks for the advice was unsure where I should post started in just found out but changed did't know I could post in both spots.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 9:04pm

Hi there,


So sorry for the situation you are in, but you have come to the right place.


My situation is similar - my H had an A while I was pregnant and got the OW pregnant. The baby has not been born yet so I have no advice to give you there. I myself am not even sure what we're doing.


As it stands my H has decided that he does not want to be part of the babies life. He is committed to us and our two children and did not want another child.


If your H is committed to you and your family give it time and you will now if he's being real. Remember actions speak louder than words....he won't have to say sorry if his actions are showing that already.


Keep us posted as to how things go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 2:42pm

Hey there,


Was thinking about you today and how you're doing. Hope all is going well for you. I just had a question as well that maybe you could shed some light on for me. Because my H's OW baby is not

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: kris29277
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 4:31pm

Hey there.... i cant imagine how you are dealing with the upcoming arrival of OB - i was only in your situation for a short time - OW choose to have an abortion. So I got lucky in not having to deal with an OB (other baby).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
In reply to: kris29277
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 2:55pm

Sorry Nicole...I confused you with StuckSteph. She is one that has lived thru the OW having a baby. Thanks for your response though!


Hope you're doing well too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
In reply to: kris29277
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 9:50pm

kris,


my heart aches for you and any other wife who finds themselves in this situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
In reply to: kris29277
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 8:53pm
I am currently dealing with this exact situation and have added a post earlier today. My H had A about 3 yes ago which we found out last year resulted in OC when she found his new work # (we live 3 hrs away now) and called to say his daughter just had her 1at b-day. It was 5 days before my youngest 2nd bday. I was crushed. She is suing us fir child support and paternity test just came back +. I am dealing with mixed emotions about what to do. I think I can handle the OC but not dealing with the OW. I know what I think is the right thing for u to do, but am angry that my morals and values are being challenged so much and that I feel like a bad person to say I want us to have nothing to do with OC. Yes that may be easier and that is initally what my H wanted but we have been discussing it and ate debating whether to go for joint custody. I feel so numb to it all now. Th fact that he and I can have a calm converstion about it makes me mad. How something so huge has become just a conversation. I still hurt but have become a stronger person than I ever imagined I could.

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