Rebuilding for who?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Rebuilding for who?
10
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 12:19am

Do you try to rebuild because you feel what you have is so great or do you do it because you feel it is the thing to do for the kids. Is it the competition with the OW or OM.Or is it that you only want the pain to stop and you think that it will if the WS agrees to rebuild. For me it was the last, because I remember wanting the pain to stop, At that moment I would be a doormat as long as the pain stopped. But now yrs later as I look back I am so glad that I did not have that option,as I think I would have tried but I know

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:01am
I think family is a concern and you have to look deep inside for your motivations and over time learn where you are coming from.
for most of us, I think we do the best we can so that we know we gave it our best whatever the outcome.
my husband is surprising me - it has taken years of sadness and grief but I am feeling good about the man he is becoming, I know it would not have happened without my support and love
for those that do not have hope of change it would be a relief to move on and put it in the past (honestly during the last couple of years it has been so rough I have had envy of those who closed this chapter of their lives)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 10:01am
Thank you for your reply. I wish you the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 11:53am

A week ago, I wouldn't have agreed with you.

Margie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:16pm

Personally I want to try because I really feel that what we had for a large part of our relationship was something really special.


I would never stay for my children I heard a saying once and its always stuck with me, "Children would rather come from a broken home than an unhappy one".


And funnily enough since we split up my daughters (2 & 4) are alot closer to my H now than they were before.


Who knows with my H issues if my hopes are realistic though

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:29pm
Way to be strong Margie, I wish you all the best! Remember that YOU are NOT the one who is pathetic and stupid, that would be your WS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 3:34pm
Thanks for your encouraging words!

Margie


Margie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 11:30pm
Well, the part about being the police person, watching them that really isn't such a big deal for me because I look at it as self preservation. I mean, you gotta look out for yourself.
.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 12:28am

I am so sorry Margie, I am at a loss as to understand how people can be so cruel.
At least my X just left, At the time

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 12:34am
Irish, I really hope it all works out for you. For some it does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 12:39am
Well I have some old handcuffs, big looking glass, finger print kit and a few other things I do not need anymore !!