Retrouvaille

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
Retrouvaille
5
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:44am

Hi Everyone,

Has anyone been to the Retrouvaille weekend? I just pre-registered my H and I to go in July. I've heard it is very good. Does anyone have any experiences with it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2000
In reply to: shocked2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 1:12pm

Our Retrouvaille weekend was 5 years ago. I feel confident in saying we would not be married (and happy) today if we hadn't gone. We arrived on Friday night filled with fear and anxiety. We left Sunday night feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted.

It was an intensely emotional weekend. We learned a wonderful communication technique which is the core of the experience. We sat through sessions presented by couples who had gone through the w/e previously. It is sponsored by the Catholic church, but it is up to each individual what s/he takes away from it, religiously speaking. Personally, I needed that...some don't.

After the weekend you will attend about 3 months of Saturday night post sessions. Do not miss these sessions. They are as important as the weekend. If you chose to stay on longer there is a CORE group that meets monthly.

The weekend is not a support group or counseling. We never talked to anyone about our marriage while we were there. You can, but we didn't.

The Retrouvaille group is very organized...there is a plan that is followed each weekend. You will be very impressed with the degree of organization. I think you will be pleased with your experience. There are lots of things you will learn and come away with that you can use beyond your marriage.

I'm sure you looked at the website. It really sounds too-good-to-be-true, but having been there, I can assure you, you will be amazed.

What else would you like to know?

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
In reply to: shocked2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:16pm

Hi Julie,

Thank you so much for responding. Do they touch on specific problems like in our case infidelity? How religious is it? I'm Catholic but my H isn't. I don't want him to get scared away if it is too preachy??? It really sounds like a great thing. How many couples attended yours? Do you sleep in the same room? Do you get time alone like for dinner and stuff? Did your H walk away feeling the same as you? Thanks for your advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2000
In reply to: shocked2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:54pm

<>

Absolutely not. Unless you make reference to it, noone will ask. (You will learn the story of what brought the presenting couples to Retrovaille...but these problems are not specific to the weekend.) This really isn't counseling. They don't try to analyze what brought you there.

<>

Not preachy at all. There is a Mass Saturday before breakfast. You leave a shoe outside your door if you want to get an earlier wake-up to attend. They also have a Mass at the end that is so generic it doesn't really even resemble a Mass...it was weird, but not preachy. You also have to opportunity setup a reconciliation time with the priest if you would like to. There is at least one session about God in your marriage...again take away from it what you want. We had lots of couples in our group from other religions or no religion.

<> 30

<> H and I had a private room together.

<> Meals are in a dinning room with the other couples. In fact we had assigned seats at meals (kind of a mixer to get to meet the other couples). We got alone time to discuss our "dialogue questions" and during breaks if we chose to go to our room or outside to walk around the grounds.

<> Definately...maybe even more so.

It was a great experience. I hope you will agree.

Julie




Edited 5/10/2006 6:01 pm ET by finding_my_way
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
In reply to: shocked2006
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 10:33am

I am not a very patient person. After my husband's full confession. I needed something fast to give me some hope because all I could dream up was our impending divorce and how I was going to manage my single mom status. I decided to go to see if there was anything to save. It was definately worth it! It showed me results and it showed me results fast. It was one of the BEST EMOTIONAL INTIMACY we have had. So I would definately encourage you to go. It actually helped me decide to allow my husband to move back in and work on our marriage. My husband was scared to go because we had to go out of state he was afraid that I would leave him there, literally! He thought at some point I was going to get angry at him and he would be stuck out of state. So he made sure he had enough cash to take a bus or something. LOL!

It was a whole weekend. You'll learn alot. I sent my SIL and her husband he was such a jerk. He put up a big fuss. He didn't want to go in fact he wanted to leave on Saturday. The spoke to a presenting couple who encouraged him to stay. It REALLY REALLY helped them because that Sunday he was an emotional basket case and realized the despairity that my SIL was feeling regarding their marriage. She needed things to change because she was SERIOUSLY considering divorce but she didn't want to. She was feeling hopeless and was not getting thru to her husband until they went to Retrouvaille. Now he tells us it was definately worth it and glad they went.;) Going to visit them at their home is very different. There is not the build up of resentment and how they speak to eachother.

REligion is not the focus at retrouvaille. Please go...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2005
In reply to: shocked2006
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 12:47pm

Sorry I'm a bit late in responding...

Retrouvaille is something I feel very strongly about. I think that this is one of the most wonderful organizations. Although H and I are divorcing, what I learned that weekend, I will carry with me forever. In fact, I believe I will insist that my next "future" husband attend a weekend prior to us gatting married (although, Retro is for married couples, I feel so strongly about the things it teaches that I don't think I will go into marriage again without my partner and I attending).

I can't say enough wonderful things about it (I know that sounds strange in light of my current divorcing siituation). If you have any questions, feel free to ask (or email me directly).

hugs,
bbalm