The roller coaster with no end....sigh

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
The roller coaster with no end....sigh
11
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 4:27pm

:smileyindifferent:It's been over 3 long years now since the Boston witch (well, actually I use a rhyming word for her nowdays, Witch is NOT it!) insinuated herself into my life, into our marriage.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 12:01am

I'm not a BS, so I'm probably not who you are looking for to answer this, but I just wanted to say that I feel for you, and am so sorry that this happened, and that stuff keeps on happening.

Honestly, I don't know if it sounds like he is really absent-minded/doesn't think, or that he just doesn't care.

I can't imagine being in this type of situation. I don't think I would be able to stay, if he didn't change.
It doesn't sound like he's trying. Like he either doesn't want to or can't.

And that would be unacceptable to me.

I don't know if you have children together, if so that would make this very complicated, but if not, I don't know why you are not sending this guy a stronger message, like leaving or threatening to leave.

I wouldn't want to be in a marriage where I had to just accept my husband hurting me again and again and breaking promises. The man I marry should be my protector, my lover, and my friend. Not my betrayer, a liar, a heartbreaker.

Maybe I'm naive because I'm not married. Maybe I just don't understand that dynamic. But I'm not saying this because I think you or he are bad people. I just wish people wouldn't hurt each other. He made a promise to you before God that he'd love you and take care of you. He's not only breaking his promise to you, he's breaking his promise to himself and God.

I hope things will be better for you, my heart truly goes out to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 12:06pm

Myra, I feel for you. You are in an incredibly frustrating situation. One I have been in myself, although within different dynamics.

There have been a couple people in my life who I was able to view, in plain sight, their deep flaw of saying one thing, and doing another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 12:48am

Oh Myra...I do wish you luck. I totally understand what it's like to live with a "Mr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 3:29pm

The therapist is trying to help him understand he has to stop acting like a bachelor when making decisions that affect me and our marriage, no more of the unilateral "I"ll decide" mentality he has.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 3:53pm

Hi there, old friend.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 8:34pm

myra or bjean or anyone else who can make any sense of the craziness in my life...

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 9:16pm

not feeling very pragmatic about our situations - i have finally had it sink in HE IS WHAT HE IS, plain and simple.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 9:21pm

not feeling very pragmatic about our situations - i have finally had it sink in HE IS WHAT HE IS, plain and simple.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 5:41am

Hugs Myra,

Ironically, my H bought a piece of property w/o ever telling me and it went over like a lead ballon!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2010
Thu, 12-30-2010 - 5:38am

Im in a same situation with the same sort of jerk; I gave him the choice "get rid of her or a divorce"

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