second time

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
second time
9
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 11:42am
20 yrs of marriage
He cheated within the first 3 yrs the first time. We- stayed together worked through and had two children - now here we are again. I found out in May and he had to confess. I am devasted!!!!!!! And hurt beyond belief! Currently going to counseling, all contact with OW is over and he is being 100% the man he should have been prior to the A. I just don't know what to do - I have prayed, cried and cried some more - this is so painful!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2003
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 3:37pm
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am only 5 months from DDay, and while we are trying to rebuild, your story is exactly what I am afraid will happen in the future.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 3:59pm
he is being 100% the man he should have been prior to the A"
isn't that what you thought before?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 8:35am
He is different this time maybe out of love maybe out of fear - but he is being a better husband and father. I am waiting and watching but trying to trust and believe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 8:40am
Totally understand the fear - I never imagined after the first time that I would be in this place again. The first time was painful but the second time is worse. My advice to you is this - if you leave your H no promises that there won't be a first time with someone else or another second time with him if you stay. If he is trying and counseling is an option TRY to save the marriage. YES, it is hard ....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 8:43am
He is different this time maybe out of love maybe out of fear - but he is being a better husband and father. I am waiting and watching but trying to trust and believe
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2003
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 4:30pm

I thought about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 12:00pm
Today I am having those feelings of hate! Not a good day.... Unbelieve what you have to deal because of an affair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2003
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 9:47pm

So sorry you were having one of those days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 12:10am

Gosh, AU-Fan I can so easily relate to you with the good part/ bad part.