Seeing OW at an upcoming reunion
Find a Conversation
|Sat, 07-11-2009 - 5:42pm|
A brief background: D-day was 20 months ago. Things have been going well. My H made some serious changes right away and has stuck to them faithfully.
I'm writing today because I'm not sure how to deal with this situation coming up. In September we will be attending a reunion, and I just found out that one of the women that my H "made-out" with (heavy petting and oral sex) will be there. That happened a really long time ago - 16 years or so (we've been married over 23 years) - but, of course, I found out on d-day. This woman was a good friend of mine, and we all hung out with mutual friends.
We had a reunion 10 years ago. She was there, and my H said that at that one they had a brief conversation where they admitted that they had made a mistake and wanted to put it behind them. I am glad that they had that closure, but I find that now *I* need closure.
I can't imagine going to the reunion pretending that it never happened. I know we will see each other a lot there and there's no way I can avoid her. I also don't want to confront her there.
I am thinking that what I need to do is contact her ahead of time; although I am open to other suggestions if anyone has any.
I was thinking of just saying that I know what happened and that I feel I need to say something about it before we see each other in September. I think I also need to say something about how hurt the betrayal is considering she was a good friend of mine at the time. I guess I would leave it to her to respond as she will.
I assume she'll apologize and admit her mistake. That leads me to wonder if that will be enough for me to not go completely bonkers at the reunion. I guess it would have to be; I really want to go and I'm not going to let what they did ruin a chance for me to visit with old friends and have a good weekend.
Anyway, any ideas on what to say - even specific wording - would be much appreciated. Ultimately I'll do what I feel I need to do, but the input that I get here always helps me to clarify my thoughts and feelings on these kinds of issues.