To shred or not to shred
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|Mon, 06-08-2009 - 3:00pm|
I have saved IM's between my H and his EA partner, and I think I am finally ready to send them through the shredder. I am hoping this will be a huge relief and a help to moving on. But, I actually went to do it the other day and couldn't go through with it.
I was wondering what experiences others have had with getting rid of vs. keeping evidence.
BTW, it's been 18 months since d-day (but that was about other betrayals) and just over a year since the last known contact with the EA partner.
The reason I printed these out and kept them in the first place, was because my H was not admitting that the relationship was inappropriate. I was so afraid that they would start talking again and that he would just say I was over reacting. I felt I needed hard and fast evidence to prove that I was not.
A few weeks ago, though, my H wrote me an email admitting to how inappropriate it was. He listed specifics including the fact that he lied to me about the relationship and that the lie was calculated and planned. It lifted a huge burden and went a long way to helping me see the true changes in him.
So I guess that email now serves all the purposes the IM's served. It "proves" the inappropriate nature of the relationship (in a different way) and it helps me remember what we are over-coming (I tend to minimize and sweep things under the rug).
Anyway, any thought you have or any experiences you wish to share are much appreciated as always. My H is out of town this weekend, so I'll probably do the shredding then. Any ideas for a ceremonial send off would be appreciated as well.