sometimes.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
sometimes.............
1
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 10:49pm

I get so confused whether I stay because it's easier. I am so filled with confusion that I don't even know how to begin explaining. I have been here a few times before for support over the last year and a bit, you can look my story up if you want. When it comes down to it I think a lot of this confusion, obsession and dwelling is because I have never got any complete truths from him. Some people say leave it alone, but I want to know. I want him to know that I know. How can you completely forgive, if you dont even know what you are forgiving for. The part I want to know the worst.......what exactly took place when he went on his cross country visit to spend three days with her in los angeles (he said he was at a cottage with a buddy a few hours away, not in another country) When I confronted him about this he admitted to going but played it down so much. I read the email, I know what he told me and what really took place were completely different. My question is though, is it wrong for me to bring it up and ask for the truth when it has been over a year? And does he have the right to get mad?

Sara

pregnancy


My Blog: http://headbangerhomeschool.blogspot.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 8:56am

The first thing my therapist said to me about knowing the truth, was that I would never know the whole story and I was going to have to live with that regardless of whether I chose to rebuild the marriage or not. I didn't like that and asked the same questions over and over and got the same answers over and over. I even tried to investigate those responses and while I couldn't find that they were lies, I couldn't confirm them as truths either.


The whole thing was crazy-making for me. Eventually I had to just believe what the therapist told me about not ever getting the complete truth and deciding if that was something I could get past and remain in the marriage or not. Either way I had to accept the not knowing everything...


Hugs (((Sara)))

Solazzo


Solazzo