Starting Recovery

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
Starting Recovery
6
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 3:04pm

My W and the OM just "broke up" last night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2009
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 3:54pm

Mikelion, I would suggest individual AND joint marital counseling for both of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2009
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 3:57pm

2 books I'd like to recommend:

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 5:47pm

Thanks for the feedback.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 6:49pm

Mike I had to watch my husband grieve. The grieving of the redhead was the worst. But I had no idea what I was watching, I thought it was depression. I suggested a doctor and counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2009
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 2:55pm

Yes, NC is the ONLY way recovery and rebuilding can occur.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 5:58pm
That last paragraph hit the nail on the head. Watching my H grieve was indeed as hard as Dday in itself if not harder. He remained NC, and today he is embarrassed that he even grieved. As it was, he said it was more the 'lifestyle' and the feelings it gave him of no responsibility than it was the person itself. Which helped a little I guess. But it was extremely difficult. Yet another necessary brick to rebuilding though. And after I let him talk it out for 2 hours, he felt better, I went outside cried hysterically and threw up... he came out and melted.... but we bonded over that too yet some more.....