Stuggling on if I should tell her husband!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2012
Stuggling on if I should tell her husband!!!
19
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 11:07am

Hi everyone, I am really struggling today and need some advice. I don't want to go through my whole story again, so I will make it short and sweet. My H cheated on me while he was on a boys trip with his brother and friends. The cheating consisted of him meeting the OW in a bar that night she ended up driving him back to where

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 8:40pm

Well Jackson put it pretty plain and simple and quite honestly, I think that she is right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 8:52pm

Ummm again, I would have to agree with Jackson's post about maybe there is odd hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 10:48pm

That is part of my thinking about if it's someone I'm close to, I would personally feel I had to reveal this if the guilty partner

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 3:12am
Dumb... really? And how would he know what she's doing when she's away from home? Or maybe they have an open marriage so he doesn't care what she does. One never knows unless they know the people involved in the relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 3:25am
Well if your H is supportive of you to tell him, then I probably would. Mainly because who know how many other guys she' s pickied/ is picking up in bars when she's off on her own. Her H does deserve to know what she's up to when he's not around,
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2012
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 8:48am

Very sorry elmosmom99, you are right using the word dumb is extremley insesitive on this board. I hadn't even realized I used it until I read your response. What I am trying to express is very similar to the last post. I don't know anything about thier marriage, only the parts she felt so inclined to share with me over the telephone. Perhaps, they do have an open marriage, or maybe he does already know and just dosen't care. But it's also very possible he dosen't know! and she could eaisly bring something home to him, my concious is

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 9:13pm
no worries le. As with all of us after betrayal I think we are supersensitive to things and words are definitely one of them. No hard feelings and thanks for the apology.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2012
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 12:29am

So I just thought I would give you all an update. After having a very difficult week last week, and a much more postive one this week I decided against contacting her H. Yes I am conflicted because I do feel somewhat responsible to share this information with him so that he dosen't catch anything, but I came to the conclusion that I have enough on my plate right now and it won't make me feel any better,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 03-20-2012 - 3:05pm

This is my first tme reading this thread, and I am so glad you came to that conclusion. There is no benefit to you contacting him, and the health concerns are not your responsibility anyway. it would not add to your healing, only drag it out. You made a good decision. I hope you and your husband can get through this.

Thanks for the update!

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