Thought I could handle it...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thought I could handle it...
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 7:25pm

so I'm taking some very deep breaths right now.. The H just left for AL to the very same hotel where he saw last saw the OW not even a month ago.... he's only going to be there over night but that doesn't mean she won't/can't drive there again like the last time to be with him.... He promises he will be alone that he doesn't get in until 11pm and has to be at work by 7am in the morning then catches a flight back to CA right after work. there isn't enough time.. there would be no point he promised me it was only me now.

I can't shake the feeling of dread.. What if he's lying to me again.. what if they are in each others Arms right now.. "not possible he's on a plane" but this is what my head is thinking playing it over and over flashing up the text/email on his phone where he told her can't wait to see you to night = he hasn't said that to me in so very long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 7:45pm
it is damn hard, you are invested in the good pure real things in life that take work
and unfortunately it will take time to find out for real if he is really worth your efforts and no one knows how much time either
I really hope for the best for you Intelirish
the triggers are horrible the lingering doubt and having good reason for it hardly bearable
you will get through this head held high and stronger than ever and have a better husband or better life in the end one way or another
Peace & Strength
(I am a posting madwoman today)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 10:26am


I am sure we can all empathize with your thoughts and feelings..

My husband didnt have the physica affair...but the amount of time he spent on the ow via text etc was very hurtful..

Day after day I would text him at work, I would hope to hear from him...I would look at my phone waiting for a reply, something to let me know he cared about me, thought about me.. And while I was hoping and waiting he was spending all his time texting the two other woman, he gave them his thought, time and attention... I was just sitting around being thrown a crumb once in awhile...and they were the center of his focus not me... and that hurt to the many days and nites did I sit lonely hoping for some love? and he was out dishing it to everyone but me....

To this day when he is on his phone I always get a panic attack...I peak around his back to see what he is doing on his phone...and I am scared I get that fear that I am being played..but soo far he has kept his word about not texting these girls or emailing them or iming them, etc..

but the fear is still there..

So you are not alone in your hurt and fears...When you have been betrayed it is hard to get over those things...and your H has not had enough time to show you wether he is gonna be faithful from now on, or if he hasnt changed at all...You have every right to be worried about who might be in that hotel..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 3:26pm

Are you familiar with Dr. Phil McGraw?