Today is a bad day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2009
Today is a bad day
7
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 1:26pm
It has been almost 4
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 2:18pm
I am so sorry that you are having a rough time today....really though, the only way you will be able to get over this permanantly is to talk about it!
Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 2:22pm

You can do this sweetie.

Remember the basics. Eat right, exercise, make an appointment with the shrink, work your 180 and look after you.

ok!

keep posting.

Thomas

5 kids ages 16-10, D Day: August, 2008

What I'm doing to rebuild: Therapy, Books, Exercise, Forgiveness.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 2:51pm

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I read this twice.


I wonder why you allowed him to stay? He doesnt want to talk about it? Well, , he caused it and no you are in a no win situation right now.


Are you working toward rebuilding? Is HE? Is he still in contact with her?


I am sorry to be asking so many questions but I am appalled that he would act this way. He should

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2009
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 4:29pm

I know

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Tue, 10-06-2009 - 4:55pm

I am sure you want to just move past it too. I was where you are. I was 27 with 3 kids. I waited tables. I had a house, 2 cars. We struggled but we were in it together. FOREVER. I thought- but I never did get passed it. So I got over it. I got tired of looking and snooping and checking and wondering.


You think- 'am I not enough, is he looking for something else, is he looking for the"one", maybe if I am sexier, sweeter, skinnier'


the thing is- it's not you and it never was anything you ever did to make him the way he chooses to be. You cant stop it, you cant change it. CHANGE comes from within.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 11:35am
(((((Enormous Hugs)))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sun, 10-11-2009 - 1:06pm

we all are familiar with what you are speaking of. even those whose husbands do get it and open up and change still go thru THOSE DAYS.

i personally think you need to understand that they are going to come. i would offer up that you need to have a plan of attack on those days. posting here is a great start. sometimes just banging on the key boards of our computers help - knowing that those of us on the other end have great empathy for what you are going thru.

have you ever read and tried the 180 list on this board? it is very helpful. also getting out and taking a walk, releasing that negative energy.

i am quite certain that the fact that your husband is not opening up and answering your questions is of great concern and doing further harm. it is, like one woman posted months ago, the fact that he has all of the answers, he knows everything about the affair - you are left to wonder, worry, and beat yourself up over all of why? hows? whens? and lack of details?