Update, a sense of peace

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Update, a sense of peace
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 6:05pm

I wanted to update everyone who has been reading my story. I know this will be long so pull up a chair if you're inclined to read further.

After I called OW last week, DH took the battery out of his cell phone and threw it in the drawer, saying he would be available to no one. I thought this was silly but let him do it. No one else knew. Last Sat my dtr & I were shopping. She was trying frantically to reach her dad on his cell. We'd been invited to dinner w/her BFs parents & no way was I going to commit for him. I told her to stop trying to call him b/c he no longer carried his ph. That was it for her, she burst into tears right there and said "what is wrong w/dad? It's like he's lost his mind!"

We aborted the shopping trip immediately and went to talk. I gave her a little more of the story (she asked why he quit carrying his ph) and I reminded her that we're in counseling and we're trying. She said "I see you trying. I see Dad avoiding us. Why is he avoiding us?" So I said it was b/c I thought he felt guilty every time he saw us b/c it reminded him that he continued a friendship I asked him to end. She said she'd been thinking about it and had decided to move to my mom's for a while b/c it's just too awkward at home. She's 17 btw, in case I haven't covered that.

We went home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 9:08am
I am glad things are going well for you! Keep up w/the counseling. My H is doing better after this latest crisis w/the 2nd affair. He seems to be much more sincere about solving his problems and is reading "After the Affair". He was always disdainful of reading anything, before. He really likes his therapist and is fully committed and is not lying to her anymore. I take it day to day and am cautious w/my emotions towards him, but he is being understanding and no longer arrogant. I feel hopeful again,but of course remain vigilant.