What is the best advice you received

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
What is the best advice you received
4
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 8:40am
What is the best advice you received after D-day? I thought this could be helpful for those new in the discovery process. Thanks for participating!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 8:46am

"You deserve better"

My sister came to stay with me after D-day and I was pacing around the house rambling "does this mean H will leave us? (me & kids), does he not love me anymore? will he want a divorce?" etc. All along the vein of what will H do, when my sister declared "I don't know what he will do, but I know one thing, you deserve better!" I burst into tears and my whole frame of reference changed! I was a strong, smart, confident woman before I met my H and suddenly was again - a shaken version of that women, but her nonetheless!!! I will always be grateful to my little sister for those words that day! She turned my world around!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 9:39am
...no one is perfect...we all make mistakes...and, other forms of that same idea...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 11:35am

great question

Dont do anything rash right away. take time to think about things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 11:37am
I think the best advise I heard was to NOT make a decision for 3 months. Several things I read online said the same thing as well as my MC. Apparently, many of us BS make rushed decisions immediatly, only to regret or at least rethink them soon afterwards. It really does take time to sort things out, get honest answers and details if u want them and just to figure out what the heck to do next. This is not to say we dont need our space during this period. If you need or want the AP to move out, even temporarily, that is completely acceptable. Although my mother-in-law told me it would be even harder for my DH to actually see me in such pain every day! Just take the time you need before jumping into anything....
~How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours~
~How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours~