where did the self esteem go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
where did the self esteem go?
6
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 10:37pm
Ok so I would just like some ideas as to how to get my self esteem back? How do I focus on me and still show consideration for my H? I do not want to be a bitter old person, I want to be happy, I WILL BE HAPPY! I just need alittle boost some ideas, healthy ideas!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 11:51pm
You're just loaded with the $64,000 questions.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 2:43am

myradorn,


OMG! you so have my attitude! My H used to complain about the lunch I made him everyday, EVERY FREAKING DAY! So know what, he makes his own lunch now! Screw that crap, I go out of my way and you b@@ch ok fine do it yourself! He still says how great he hadeit before, how much he wished it was how it was before he fUc@d up ya know, but it just istn't! It is my terms now, MINE! Damn you! My H didn't have sex with the slut but so far as I see it, it hurts just the same! betrayal is betrayal just the same and that is why I am so glad for this place, a group of ladies(sorry some guys)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 3:00pm

here goes:

daily walks, heck even if it is around the neighborhood
green tea - the real stuff, not the bottled kind. either hot or cold but at least 5 - 8 glasses a day -it flushes away all of the gunk

laughter - rent comedies, laughter heals the soul
new outfit - something a little revealing
new bras - pick those girls up
new underwear - use the cotton one for dusting the bedroom.
how about a new hair do?
get rid of those sweats - the baggy ones with the clorox stains on them. if you like athletic wear go out and buy yourself a couple new athletic outfits that are comfortable.

how about changing the bedroom furniture around - put some of those batter operated candles in there that turn on automatically and add a bit of romance to the room.

DAILY - look in the mirror and tell you I LOVE YOU

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 3:09pm
Mine complained endlessly about me gaining some weight, the poor dear, I had stolen his trophy wife away, I guess, so he opted to punish me for 30 years.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 3:11pm
All done...for YOU, of course!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 3:41pm

well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i look at it this way betrayal tends to take the wind out of our sails. how can we begin to feel whole again, or how can we begin to build a new foundation with our partner if we are not feeling good about ourselves. i know the fact that my h cheated tended to make me feel pretty empty, worthless, unattractive, lonely, etc.........................................

realizing we love ourselves and that is what is most important. i had often wondered why is it that betrayal is so devastating? possibly it is because we based our own value on how much our spouse loved us vs. the importance of the love we have for ourselves. women, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner - you know we will get to us tomorrow. unfortunately something always seems to come up that is more important.