I think you're more in love with the idea of a relationship with this guy than the real thing. Plus, you drink too much.
Stop letting alcohol make your decisions. Get sober and get going.
This guy has made it abundantly clear to you that you are nothing more than a causal hookup to him and you're wasting your time hoping there's more.
Sorry, but I'm not going to tell you that you're OK here. You have work to do on yourself starting with the drinking.