10 YEARS TOO LONG

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
10 YEARS TOO LONG
2
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 10:53am
Ok so this is the first time Ive ever used a forum, Im basically all out of options. Ill try and make this as quick as possible. Im 24 years old, have a good job, lots of friends and a great family. My problem is as usual a guy. Hes also 24. Ive known him for 10 years and since the day we meet weve had a type of friends with benefits kind of relationship, minus the sex (we have never had sex) i know it sounds hard to believe but its true. I care about him so much and hes been in my life for so long.I know that we will never be together. He says hes not ready for a girlfriend. I have never met any of his friends (he knows all of mine)the extent of our relationship has been sitting on my couch when he comes over at 1030 11 oclock at night. We have never been on a date or to the movies or anything like that. Maybe hes embarrassed by me?? Although I think im somewhat attractive I am overweight. Hes never said that to me but thats what im feeling right now. I have been a very very good friend to him. He has not been a good friend to me in the past. I ALWAYS FORGIVE HIM. I cry and scream and fight with him, swear to him that ill never speak to him again and then 1-2 weeks go by and all he has to say to me is "i miss you" and i fall right back into the same routine and it makes me miserable. He swears hes not sleeping with anyone. Weve been seeing each other this time for like 3-4 years straight. i find it hard to believe that as a guy he hasnt had sex in that long??? but thats what he says. Hes hurt me many times. I cant even talk to my friends anymore about him bc they dont even want to hear it anymore, and to be honest I feel bad that they have to listen to the same complaints over and over again, now its like u know u put urself in this situation and u could change it. But i cant. I try soo hard but hes all I think about sometimes especially when were not on good terms. The other thing is that even though were not having sex, everything else we do is one sided, really no kissing or touching. HES VERY SELFISH. Theres no passion. Its not he doesnt want me but he doesnt want anyone else to have me either. Because no matter how many times I go back to him, he always comes back to me too. Im 24, i want an adult realtionship. Someone to really care about. I feel so desperate and pathetic and my self esteem (although I dont really have any)is practically non existent. I would really really appreciate any feeback anyone can give me. I would really like to hear a guys point of view.
Thank you guys in advance for taking the time out of your days to help a sad girl like me.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 12:55pm

Welcome to the board dollface603,


Please, please work on your self-eteem....


How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon


The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen


The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz


Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 1:05pm
THANKS. ILL BE SURE TO LOOK INTO THEM