11 Days Since Contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
11 Days Since Contact
7
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 12:39pm

So,

It has been 11 days since I said anything at all to the ex. Last Friday was my birthday and he didnt call me so I sent him a text simply saying "thanks." Since then I havnt heard from him or said anything to him. I am trying to hold out as long as I can. His birthday is on September 1 and I know I will cave in by then...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 1:56pm

mmcurtin,


Don't do it. Don't cave. There's no point to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 5:08pm
My birthday was in July and I did not receive a call.
If he didn't have the respect to acknowledge your b-day, why would you for his?
I am on 12 days of N/C and i think about calling everyday but I know it will not do any good.
I think you will just have to reset your N/C countdown and start over. You have already made it this far.
I am also learning that silence is sometimes louder than what is spoken.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 9:02pm

Attitude is half the battle....so you're 50% lost already. Look at at it this way....Only 3 days til two weeks. And sept 1st is 2 weeks away. Chances are, you'll feel differently by then, if you keep up NC. I know I did. The first two days are hell, the first two weeks we were depressing..but you're heading uphill.

It's like clawing your way out of a pit only to give up part way there. And if you keep cycling between clawing and giving up, at some point, I daresay you'll feel more defeated than if you did it right the first time.

So hang in there, DON'T GIVE IN. We can't drag you up out of your hole, but we can pin you to the wall until you rally yourself and pull yourself up. Don't TRY to hold out. You WILL hold out.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 9:04pm
Please, please, please don't acknowledge his birthday since he didn't acknowledge yours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 9:36am

Thanks for all of the responses. It is now day 12 haha. I know I shouldnt want to text him on his birthday but I want to show him that I am a bigger person than him. There is no way I am going to call him but i figure a text message that simply says "happy birthday" might be acceptable. Right? I am not out to hurt him or any1. I do want him to have a happy birthday even if he couldnt give me the same respect. I know I am a complete sucker. But hey, atleast I have made it 12 days and am feeling pretty good. Still miss him constantly but atleast I am out of the crying phase and can even go a couple of hours without thinking about him...

Thanks again

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 10:22am
and reading this quote has totally made me feel amazing: "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:14pm

I would advise you not to text him. Or maybe decide when you get to september.

But my question is.....why do you need to show him you're a bigger person? Does what he think really matter that much? When you send your friends 'happy birthdays' do you do it so that they'll think you're a 'big' person? Or do you do it because you truly want to? And if you send it, how do you know he'll end up thinking you're a bigger person? He might get the impression that you're still hung over him. And if you txt him and he doesn't respond? Or if he responds with a 'thanks'? You'll feel rejection all over again, even if that's not what you intended in the first place. Or you'll feel he doesn't really care.

End point is, if you happen to run into him on the street on his birthday, then say it out of curtesy. If you don't, then leave it alone.

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your