11 year and 3 kids, now he's not happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2005
11 year and 3 kids, now he's not happy
1
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 7:52am
I just gave birth to my 3rd child less than 2 weeks ago. All 3 of my children are with the man I have been with since high school. There are a lot of things about us that are different but in a lot of important ways we have things in common but mostly with things that I can't put into words.
In the course of our relationship he has screwed up a lot including letting someone who had a crush on him give him advice (led to breaking up for a short time) and cheating. The cheating took place almost 2 years ago and since that ended we had been working hard at being good together. We were getting along great and our fights became differences of opinion that we always worked out quickly. Then when I was 3 months pregnant I was told to take it easy, which is only slightly less restrictive than being put on bed rest. We have spent a lot of time being the old fashioned couple where I took care of stuff around the house but with this high risk pregnancy I was chained to the couch and he had to do everything. I know it was stressful and his job was also adding a lot of pressure on him. It was stressful for us both and I'm sure I wasn't a dream to live with even though I tried to hold back on snapping too much. Now I've had the baby and I can do stuff again it has taken such a weight off my shoulders. I'm totally different than I was for those 6 months, happier and useful again. He never even took the time to see this because since she was born he's done everything he could to spend the least amount of time with me. The 2 days I was in the hospital I only say him for a couple hours and he didn't even barely call me. When I was home with our new baby for 2 days I tried to spend time with him so he could enjoy my company and get aquaninted with his newest child. He left the room. I felt like I was experiencing postpartum depression and maybe the way he was asking was in my head so I went to him and asked if this was over. I expected to be told I was crazy instead I nearly fell over when he said he didn't know. I thought we could work it out but 2 days ago he said he wasn't happy and didn't think he could be happy with me. It's killing me because all my future plans involved him. I will move on if I have to but in the back of my mind I feel like this is temporary as he has broken up with me before only to come back realizing I'm the best thing for him. If this isn't going to be one of those times I can't help but think how am I ever going to find somebody new? I have 3 children but if a guy likes kids enough to accept that he'll probably want some of his own but I am never having any more children as I have always had a really difficult time with it. I don't even really want to go back out in the workforce once my maternity leave is over. I hate the idea of having to be away from my kids that much.
It's all just so hard and I know that I should just move on. Even if he does realize that I'm great and even greater for him. He's always gotten the better end of the deal in this relationship but I kept him around anyway. I deserve someone who's going to treat me really good all the time not just some of the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:12am

First of all, congratulations on the birht of your third child :)

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