2 1/2 months and its getting harder
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:49pm |
I've read most of "He's Scared, She's Scared" and it did help a lot. It made me realize that he is a total commitmentphobe. It has help put things into perspective for me. I especially benefited from the last chapter on how to get over a commitmentphobe if you are the passive partner. Wow, was that eye opening. "It will not end, unless the passive partner ends it." That spoke volumes to me. Then and there I decided to commit to myself and move on. Though it doesn't make it any easier.
I know I cannot contact him, I realize now that he is my kryptonite. He is bad news and I must avoid him at all costs. It's weird b/c I don't really feel like contacting him. I just have this overwhelming sadness that won't go away, know what I mean? I'm sure it's all part of the process.
Thanks for listening to my disjointed rant...I shall go for a walk.

What do you think? I guess I was the passive partner- maybe he just wanted me to break up with him. Blah.
This is so awful. I am only two days into our breakup- I can't imagine the next few months or even years...
Good luck- take a long walk. Rent a funny movie.
Hang in there, and re-read that last chapter as often as necessary!
Sheri
You may or may not decide your ex has commitment issues (I think it's overdiagnosed) but the book will help you figure that out. One big hint is if he can't commit to much of *anything* in his life, then he's got commitment issues (i.e., can't stick with a job, moves a lot, doesn't keep friends in his life, etc).
Sheri
Charlotte – You may want to look into reading the book. It helped me put things into perspective and helped me realize that there was nothing that I could do about my ex's commitment issues. It also helped me look at my own issues and why I choose men that are unavailable and unwilling to commit. It sounds like your bf may be a bit indecisive.
Tigger – I hope that you and your bf are able to work things out. The board is always a good place to sound off. How long have you two been dating? Do you feel it is fixable? Good luck to you.
Rainen – My bf and I dated for 3+ years as well. I don’t know what that is. I understand about feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to feel like myself again. It’s a faint memory, that happy person I used to be. In regards to getting over or through this…I hear that it can take as long as a yr to get over a 3 yr relationship. We will be ok, and we do know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Now is the time to focus on ourselves.
i never thought i would be that kind of person either..I always thought i was so strong and had everything under control..or at least my emotional life
and even though somewhere, in the back of my head, i feel like, i know i will be fine, i still have this fear of not being able to let go of this relationship ..memories are what kills me the most. we didnt fight at all and really do only have good memories
its been two weeks now and im still not over him completely. we only dated a year and me, being optimistic, and stupid, thought i would get over it within a few days but trust me, nobody would want to pay for this rollercoaster of emotions im riding on